


With Love's Light Wings

by orphan_account



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:51:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 33,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10001861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Three women, each with their own sets of walls, find that they need each other to bring them down.Set about two years on from current S2 canon, Kara is a more seasoned reporter, more comfortable and mature.  Her friendship with Lena Luthor has long teetered on the edge of becoming something more, but her lingering hangup on Cat Grant has kept it from even starting.Lena Luthor is a lonely woman with ESP that she developed as a teenager after an accident in her brother's lab.  The irony is bitter; she's subjected to everyone's feelings, like it or not, yet struggles to ever share her own.Cat Grant returns to National City to resume her role at CatCo, despite her own unresolved feelings for Kara, and things become complicated for all three of them as they realize that what they need is something different from what they ever thought or expected.





	1. Lena - Part I

As far as the world knew, Lena Luthor was both a scientific genius, and preternaturally good at the business side of the equation too.  Under her steady stewardship, L Corp had been growing, and she seemed to have a nose for a good deal.  She understood people, knew when someone was trying to deal with her dishonestly, could tell when someone was attracted enough to her that she could leverage it to her advantage, and knew when to steer clear of that one particular Starbucks because she was wearing white and the barista was in a bad mood.

Lena Luthor had a gift, they said.  Made to do business.

They were half right.

Lena checked the mirror as her driver eased down the packed boulevard, half glad of the traffic since she was heading to a meeting that she wasn’t looking forward to.  The gentlemen of the board at Hamatsu Electronics did not like dealing with her, distrusted her because of her family name, and usually were trying to screw her over every chance they could get.  She had to gird up for meetings like these.  She drew her deep red lipstick across her lips, smacked them together once, fiddled with a bit at the corner of her mouth.  She bared her teeth to make sure they were clean.  

Her phone rang.  She almost ignored it, because she frankly needed the peace of the car ride to get herself into the proper frame of mind to meet with these men, but she took it out of her Kate Spade bag and glanced at it.  It was the one person who she would nearly always take a call from:  Kara Danvers.

She tapped her wireless earbud.  “Hey Kara!” she said cheerfully.  She was always glad to hear Kara’s voice.

“Hey Lena,”  Kara answered just as cheerfully.  “I wanted to see if you were busy Saturday night.”

“Hm,” Lena said, and flipped open her calendar.  Three scheduled items competed for her attention, none of which she particularly wanted to participate in.  “Sort of, but what did you have in mind?”

“Oh, nothing,” Kara sighed, “it’s just that James is having a showing of some of his stuff at a gallery downtown and Saturday night is the opening, and I was kind of hoping I could waylay you into coming with me.”

“Wine and cheese, eh?” Lena said.  She looked again at her calendar.  She moved one item two hours earlier and deleted the other two.  She knew Jess, her secretary, would get the notifications but nevertheless, as she spoke to Kara, she tapped out a quick text message to her. _Please see my changes for Saturday’s schedule and make calls accordingly._

 _I’m being a capricious wench,_ she thought with amusement.  But spending the evening at an art opening in some nouveau-bohemian art gallery with Kara Danvers was too appealing to pass up.

Kara Danvers had been her first friend in National City.  She’d been the only one from day one who judged Lena on her merits and believed in her when nobody else did.  Unlike most of the rest of the world, Kara didn’t believe that being a Luthor automatically made Lena evil, and that was worth a lot.  That was one of two reasons why, though it had been nearly two years now, Lena hadn’t tried to date her: a friendship like that, that presumed nothing about her and asked nothing of her, was worth the world.  She had no desire to risk it for a romance that might or might not work.  

The other reason why Lena hadn’t tried to date her, of course, was that she didn’t really think it _would_ work.  Kara, though she had never said so, was hung up on someone else.  

“OK, great!  I can’t wait!  It’s going to be so much fun!”

They said their goodbyes and Lena resumed brooding into crosstown traffic.  Her driver, Frederick, was her favorite, not because he was an especially good driver (although he was competent enough), but because he was mercifully, graciously free of extraneous thought.  She didn’t have the constant whispers of his musings about life, his worries, his fight with his wife last night, constantly drifting back and knocking her on the side of the head, the way she had with other drivers.  Most did, and it could really be damned distracting.

But Frederick’s head was mostly empty, and that was a merciful relief.

  
  


****

  


She’d been fourteen when she’d been caught in the accident in Lex’s basement lab.  She didn’t know what in the hell he was up to with those Tesla coils and he wasn’t about to tell her, but the damn thing had exploded in a flash of white light, blinding her and knocking her unconscious.  When she woke, she felt… different.  She thought there was something wrong with her, because she was overrun with emotions that she couldn’t understand, swore she was hearing voices that she shouldn’t be.  

It had taken her some time, longer than her physical recovery, to really begin to process what had happened to her, what the little (large) knock on the head had given her.  When the feelings flooded in, the ones that didn’t make sense to her, she came to understand that it was because they weren’t her own.  When the voices began whispering, familiar voices, she came to understand that they were thoughts she was hearing, other people’s thoughts.  

When she did understand it, she rejected it at first.  It felt weird and invasive in a way she didn’t like.  But it became a means of self preservation in a family where she could trust nobody, especially her mother.  God, even after she knew what she was feeling and hearing, Lillian’s feelings were so difficult to untangle, a barely intelligible cocktail of cold rage, iron determination, despair, unfocused longing.  She was fourteen and suddenly bearing the weight of her mother’s madness in too deeply intimate a way.

She did what anyone would do.  She put up walls.  She learned to control it.  She only took in a little at a time.  It was harder when she was tired.  And keeping the walls up in itself was tiring.  It was a dialectic of sorts.

That was part of why she craved Kara’s company so much.  Because Kara’s heart, even when she was sad, was filled with goodness, with love, with empathy.  She didn’t need to keep her walls up with Kara, because the emotions that rolled off of her in waves were a benevolent tide.  

Lena wouldn’t say she loved Kara, but if pressed, she wasn’t sure she’d say she didn’t either.

But you couldn’t carry on a thing with someone who wished they were with someone else, could you.  Lena didn’t know who it was, but it didn’t matter.  The mythology of the one that got away was always bigger than the person.  You couldn’t compete with it.

But at least she had Saturday.


	2. Cat - Part I

Cat stood among the boxes in her old office.  Well, now it was just “her office” again.  The sun streamed through the gigantic windows while she sifted through her things.  She placed the photo of herself and Carter at the beach squarely on the desk.  There.  It was official.  The place was hers again.

She hadn’t particularly wanted to come back to CatCo, but she didn’t feel as though she had a choice.  She’d left the company in what should have been the capable hands of James Olson.  Cat didn’t know what the hell he was doing with himself but running her company didn’t appear to be included on his to-do list.  At first she blamed his erratic performance on him needing to find his feet in the job, but it became clear after two years in the role, that his feet were not in the job at all, and neither was his heart.  He sounded nothing short of relieved when she called him and told him that she wanted him to return to the creative department, and he was more than glad to name her CEO pro tem until she could wrest official control back from the board.

“Cat!”

She looked up.  Kara was standing there in the doorway, grinning like it was Christmas and someone had given her a pony.  Then again, you could give the girl a box of horse shit and she’d be excited because she would be sure it meant there had to be a pony somewhere in the vicinity.  Cat’s lips curled in a smile.  She strode over and closed the distance between them and Kara’s arms wrapped around her and squeezed her so hard, Cat thought she was going to find herself lifted straight off the floor.  “Easy, Kiera, don’t break me!” she said, but her churlishness was unconvincing to both of them.  Kara felt good.  Warm, strong, solid, soft, miraculous.   _ Stop it, Cat.  Grow up. _

“I can’t believe you’re back!  I…”  Kara released her and then stepped back a little.  “I… may have missed you.  A little,” she said, suddenly a little coy.

Cat hmphed.  “You’d be the only one,” she replied.  She was beginning to warm to the idea of terrorizing the staff again.  

She looked at Kara, who stood there beaming at her.  They’d stayed in touch, mostly via the occasional email, although Cat’s role as White House Communications Director was possibly the most stressful experience of her life, and Kara was busy growing as a reporter and doing  _ whatever _ it was that she did when she wasn’t working (Cat pretended for the sake of their friendship to not know that Kara was Supergirl, but really, the glasses weren’t fooling her.  They never did).  She may have crept Kara’s Instagram from time to time, though she’d deny it if asked.  But those pictures didn’t really get across who Kara was now.  

The woman standing in front of her was still young, but not painfully so.  She wore a little more confidence, a little more authority, and Cat liked it.  It was difficult not to feel pride at her accomplishments and who she was becoming.  It felt like a lifetime ago when that stammering girl had walked into her office, but even then, Cat had seen something special about her, even if she didn’t know what.  She was maturing into something more beautiful than Cat had even allowed herself to imagine.  (And Cat had allowed herself to imagine quite a bit on some late, lonely evenings.)  In half a second, her heart broke, she gathered up the pieces, and then hastily reassembled them.  She tugged at the cuff of Kara’s dark blue Oxford shirt.  “Nice color on you,” she remarked.  “You’re dressing more like an adult these days.”

Kara shrugged.  She looked Cat up and down, took in her blue jeans and long-sleeved tee-shirt that she was wearing to do all of her unpacking, and observed, “And you’re dressing less like one, I see.”

Cat snorted and walked back over to the box whose contents she was emptying into her desk.  “Don’t get too excited, Kara.  This is just my moving outfit.”

“Oh, so you’ll be back to your ‘menacing the employees’ outfits tomorrow, then?”

When had Kara gotten this cheeky?  Cat smirked.  “Well, someone’s found her ovaries in my absence, I see.”

Kara shrugged again, but her eyes danced and her smile made Cat’s insides ping a hundred different ways.  She could never pursue something with Kara; the power dynamic would be too sticky, as she was her mentor, after all, not to mention boss.  

“I have to finish unpacking and I have a half million things to deal with today,” Cat said briskly, “but I’d love to take you to lunch at some point in the next few days, if you think you can manage it.”

“Sure, I’ll call your assistant,” Kara joked.  Cat didn’t have an assistant yet.  Eve Tessmacher had apparently flown the coop nine months ago after growing tired of constantly having to apologize for Olson’s inexplicable unavailability for anything having to do with running the company, and it had been a revolving door of temps since then.

Cat snorted again.  “Can’t I just steal you back from Snapper? I certainly ought to, just to teach you a lesson for being so smart with me.”

Kara laughed.  “Call me when you want to get together.  My number’s still the same.”

Cat watched her walk away.  She was astonishing, both coming and going.

  
  


*******

 

Cat hadn’t really known what to say when asked why she left CatCo and National City.  Serving in the White House at the behest of the country’s first female president was certainly good enough reason for most people, but she hadn’t known she’d be offered that role when she left.  She had left mostly because she’d felt trapped; she was running up against her own walls.  She’d built herself a big, beautiful, glorious media empire and now had no idea what to do next.  She had a million acquaintances but few friends; a string of dates, but no lovers; and a handful of people she trusted, but the only one she could really imagine giving her heart to was unavailable to her.

Dr. Rosensweig would keep telling her that she needed to let her guard down.  That was hard to do when sitting atop an empire of this size.  But her shrink was right, of course.  Damn that old hippie.  Cat was back in her old seat, but maybe she needed to get back in the game, too.  Carter was old enough that he couldn't be an excuse for her.

She finished emptying the last box and then looked at her calendar.  Meetings with the board, with some individual board members, various local business leaders, the mayor and chief of police, and on Monday, a lunch meeting with the Luthor girl. The wunderkind.  That, she suspected, would be interesting, and not just because all her pictures in the press displayed impeccable fashion sense and a jawline that could cut glass (she even made those prison grays look good).  The meeting was at her request, not Cat’s, and Cat couldn't imagine what she was after, but she was curious enough about her to meet with her.  

She saw a hole in her schedule for Tuesday where she could plug in a late lunch with Kara.  She texted her to that effect.  Kara replied quickly and enthusiastically.  There was, however, no smile emoji at the end, Cat noted.  She’d outgrown those, it seemed.  Cat had mercilessly picked on her for them but a part of her missed them a little, now.  

_ Saddle up, _ she thought.   _ Off we go. _


	3. Kara -  Part I

Kara waded through the crowded gallery, hanging onto Lena’s hand.  The place was bright, but tastefully so, with careful consideration to the lighting of each of the large prints of James’s black and white photography that lined the walls.  Ornette Coleman played at medium volume from the speakers set into the walls, punctuating the air with stabs of saxophone.  James was at the center of a cluster of friends and family at the back of the room, talking animatedly about who knew what.  Alex and Maggie and Winn were already back there, and Alex waved to Kara as they made their way over.

Lena’s hand felt warm in hers.  She was glad to have someone with her tonight, because all of her friends, it seemed, had dates, and while it didn’t matter now, in the humid warmth of the packed gallery, it would later, during the inevitable bar crawl or restaurant trip that followed.  People would pair off, and Kara would sit awkwardly, trying to figure out how to fade into the walls.

James greeted her with a warm hug and Lena with the slightly less familiar “half-hug” that he used with people he liked but didn’t know well.  Alex and Maggie hugged both of them and then  they chatted for a few minutes.  After that, Kara and Lena made their way around the room, looking at the photographs in frames on the white walls.

The work hanging on these walls was different than his photojournalism.  Kara was familiar with that, and it was crisp, bold, and great at capturing action.  This series was more intimate, capturing moments of stillness in and around the city; children in the surf at the beach, the arc of the kneeling palms at San Jarindo, a diva in a moment of pre-show anxiety backstage at the National City opera house.  “These are nice,” Lena commented.  “They have a real living, breathing soul.”

Kara nodded.  “Yeah.  He has a great eye.”  She wasn’t surprised.  James had been a guy worth trying to be with; gentle and perceptive, with a reverence for life.  It didn’t surprise her that his art reflected who he was.  It was a shame; she wished she could have made it work with him.  He was special to her.  But, just like every other time in her life, dating and sex were apparently not meant for her.  She tried going to bed with him, but she just … didn’t feel anything.  And her questionable decision to try sleeping with Mon-El was just more of the same.  She didn’t think she was asexual, but she also didn’t feel like she’d found whatever it was she needed to make it all work for her.  

Her friends had all pushed her about Lena at one point or another, because her interest seemed obvious.  Kara struggled with this.  Cat had been gone a long time.  Almost long enough for Kara to think maybe she was finally getting over the hopeless crush that was keeping her from looking seriously at anyone else.  Cat had burned so brightly that Kara felt anything else was a pale substitute, and she knew that it was unfair to anyone else that she might be with to be still carrying such a gigantic torch.  But it had been almost two years, and Kara had started to think maybe, maybe she’d finally gotten past it, at least enough to try again.  Maybe her heart had stopped leaping at the sight of an email from Cat in her inbox.  Maybe enough to try and love Lena, and open herself again to the potential disappointment that was sex.

But then Cat had decided to come back.  Kara was simultaneously thrilled and irrationally angry at James for screwing around with this superhero stuff, causing Cat to feel she had to return.  Part of Kara had never stopped longing for Cat’s presence.  Part of her had been ready to finally let go.  Now she was feeling trapped again.  

Lena looked beautiful tonight.  Lena looked beautiful always, of course, but especially now.  Her hair was down and her dress was a green that picked up the color of her eyes and her neck looked impossibly long and graceful.  Kara wondered if maybe she should just go for it.  After all, it wasn’t as if things were going to go anywhere with Cat, anyway.  Cat never saw her as an equal, right?  That was what she told herself, at least.  Dating your boss was a bad idea.  And then there was the age difference.  Better to pursue things with a peer, right?

Of course, she’d made all these arguments to herself before, a hundred times.  They didn’t matter.  Cat was back in town, and Kara was happy to have her back in her orbit but distressed at the idea of what having access to her again would mean.

She shouldered her way through the crowd, hanging onto Lena’s hand, and waved down a waiter with a tray of wine glasses held high.  She let go of Lena to pluck two glasses of red off the tray and hand one to her.  

They toasted.  They drank.  They both grimaced in unison.  It wasn’t very good wine.

“Why do I get the feeling James was allowed to pick the wine himself?” Lena asked.

Kara laughed.  She wasn’t wrong though.  She’d had the same thought, in fact.

Lena was gorgeous.  She made Kara think of all those lines from Shakespeare sonnets about beautiful women.  ( _ Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright! _ )  She was that kind of gorgeous.   She was fun and easy to be with.  Kara wasn’t sure that Lena was really interested, because if she was, why hadn’t she made a move by now?  But she thought that maybe, maybe there was a chance.  She didn’t feel ready to push anything tonight, she thought, but she might take a few days to screw her courage to the sticking place and then make a run at it.  She was Supergirl, she reminded herself.  What did she have to be afraid of?

_ Oh, _ she thought, _ only … EVERYTHING. _

  
  


********

  
  


Snapper bothered to look up from his coffee long enough on Monday morning to give Kara a brusque warning about how she wasn’t going to get special treatment now that Cat had returned.  Kara wasn’t really expecting any.  She hadn’t gotten it when Cat was there before, so why would that change now?  Still she didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Snapper had some sort of bee in his bonnet about the nature of their relationship.

Her sister Alex called her around lunch.  “Hey, sis.  What are you doing later?”

“I dunno, why?”

“We might need Supergirl tonight.  J’onn’s planning an op, and we could use you.”

“Okay.”

A beat of quiet.  Then, “Kara, when are you going to date that poor girl?”

“What?”

Alex sighed.  “Kara, I saw the two of you at James’s thing on Saturday.  She likes you, dummy.  Honestly, if I wasn’t with Maggie, I’d be chasing her like…”  She fumbled, seemingly at a loss for an adequate simile. “... like something that’s good at chasing things.  So?”

Kara sighed.  “I don’t know, Alex.  I just … relationships and …”  She glanced around and then dropped her voice.  “...and sex…. They haven’t really worked out for me,  I’m afraid I’ll just mess it up.”  

“Yeah, but have you considered that maybe it’s not you?  Maybe you’ve just been trying with the wrong people?”

“There’s nothing wrong with James,” Kara objected.

“Yeah, but maybe he just isn’t the right person.  That’s not his fault. You know?”

Kara knew what her sister was getting at.  Kara had certainly had crushes on women.  Cat was… well, she was in her own category, but a few of her close friends knew that she’d have tried with Lucy Lane if she thought she had a chance.  Maybe Alex was right, and it was time to pursue something with a pretty girl who she enjoyed spending time with.

“But how do I know Lena’s even–”

“Kara, she looks at you like she wants to eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” Alex interrupted.

Kara heard Maggie say something in the background.  Alex laughed, and then relayed, “Also, Maggie says she’s seen Lena with her collar popped too many times for her not to be a giant lesbian.”

Kara snorted.  “OK, OK.  I just need to work up the nerve.”

 


	4. Lena - Part II

Sometimes, Lena hated knowing everyone’s secrets.  It would be easier, she wagered, if she didn’t know that Kara Danvers was Supergirl, because her scientist’s mind had so many questions; about her powers, how they worked, how she managed to balance her two identities… Her natural curiosity tormented her sometimes.  But Kara hadn’t deigned to share that with her, so she couldn’t indulge.

She couldn’t help finding a bitter irony in the fact that she kept her own self and secrets under such tight guard while being constantly bombarded with everyone else’s.  But that was how walls worked, after all.  They didn’t only keep things out; they kept things in, too.

She sat across from Cat Grant in the hottest Japanese restaurant in town.  She found Cat’s mind to be strangely guarded, but her emotional state was easy enough to read.  She was a little agitated, but intrigued, curious.  And she liked the look of Lena, but then Lena didn’t suppose she needed powers to figure that out.  Cat was a lot of things, but subtle wasn’t one of them.

“So,” Cat dove in after making small talk about her time in the White House, “I don’t imagine you asked me to lunch to discuss the minutiae of corralling the White House Press Corps?”

Lena smiled and gave her a coy look.  “Miss Grant,” she reproached her, “don’t you at least want to wait until the sashimi arrives?”  

“I didn’t get to where I am by being patient, did I?” Cat retorted.  Her eyebrows twitched a little, her mouth quirked upwards at the corners.  She was amused.  

Lena grinned appreciatively.  She didn’t have the specific fetish for older women that some women her own age did, but it was hard not to appreciate the ball of energy that was Cat Grant.  At any given second, some part of her was twitching, anxious to say something, see something, taste something.  Her style, her quick tongue, were compelling, and she was tiny, but gorgeous.  Lena had always had a bit of a thing for blondes.  “No, and I wouldn’t dream of wasting your time.”

Cat nodded approvingly.

“So, I’m interested in purchasing a significant stake in CatCo Worldwide,” she began without preamble.

“And what exactly do you think that significant stake will get you?” Cat responded archly.  “Snapper Carr hasn’t exactly been kind to you these past few years, but I don’t think I need to tell you that we don’t operate as a pay to play.”

“Of course not,” Lena replied, and she continued smiling.  “I don’t expect anything like that.  I just know a good investment when I see one.  The share price has been –forgive me, but– it’s been suffering, and I just want to get in before it goes back up, which it will, now that you’re back in the driver’s seat.”

“Why not just call a broker, then?” Cat demanded.  “Why sit down with me?”  She was smart.  She was electric.  She was asking the right questions.

“I want more than what a broker can buy for me.”

Cat laughed, a short, sharp sound. Lena could feel that she was mildly impressed by the brass of Lena’s offer.  “So, you want me to sell you some of my own shares, give you a controlling stake in my company, and I imagine you’d like me to thank you while I do it?”

Lena laughed.  “Nothing of the kind.  I don’t want a controlling stake.  I have no interest in owning a media company.  I do want voting rights on the board.  And enough shares for it to be worth my while.  Face it, Cat, the company’s hurting.  A large outside investor like me, coming in and buying a large stake?  That’ll bring some public faith back to the brand.”

Cat considered her.  “What else?”

“Hm?”

“What else do I get?”

Lena contained herself, but she was pleased that Cat was living up to her reputation.  “How does exclusive rights to some very desirable high-speed satellite communications technology sound?”

Cat made a little face, acknowledging that the deal indeed was starting to sound better.  She looked at Lena, and Lena could tell that Cat Grant was interested in both the deal, and possibly something more.  “Hm.  Beauty  _ and _  brains,” she remarked, nodding slowly, and taking in Lena’s face.  Lena felt herself flush a bit under Cat’s magnetic gaze.  

“I assure you,” Lena pressed on, “you’d have an ally in me on the board.”

“And why is that?”

She went in for the kill.  “Women in our positions have to have one another’s back, don’t we?”

Cat smirked.  Lena could feel it, her blow had landed as she intended.  “I’ll think about it.  In the meantime, if such a significant part of this deal is being done on a handshake, I think I’d like to get to know you a little better.”  The weight of Cat's look was unmistakable.  It was probably the same look that had been the undoing of any number of hapless Wellesley girls during Cat's college years.

Lena bit her lip.  She hadn’t come here looking to turn it into anything more.  She’d heard vague rumors that Cat Grant was quietly bisexual and she had thought she might leverage it to her advantage.  But somehow she was finding the tables being turned on her.  Cat was asking her out, and Lena really couldn’t think of a good reason to say no.  “I’d like that, Miss Grant.”

“Call me Cat.”

“Alright… Cat.”

The sashimi arrived and they talked travel.  They’d both done business in China and had some passable skills with Mandarin, so they showed off for each other a little.  They talked about Fashion Week in New York and where they liked to vacation in Italy and how Milan wasn’t worth the trouble except for the shopping.  By the time the waiter brought the second round of sake, Lena had almost forgotten this was a business lunch and not a date.  She couldn’t help herself.  She found herself wanting to impress Cat Grant.  She suspected Cat probably had that effect on a lot of people.  

Maybe this would be good, she mused.  Maybe it would distract her from this thing with Kara that was going nowhere fast.  They were chuckling lightly and trading flirtatious barbs by the time the green tea ice cream arrived, and Lena, her inhibitions down a little from the sake, and feeling Cat’s attraction to her as clear as a floodlight, reached out to where Cat’s hand rested on the table halfway between them, and brushed her fingers across the back of her hand.

Cat drew a little breath and licked her lips.  She smirked at Lena, and withdrew her hand.  “Yes,” she said quietly, “but not here.”

Lena gave her a querying look.

“I don’t know what you’ve heard,” Cat murmured, “but I don’t advertise.”

Lena was mildly surprised, but she took Cat at her word.  

“But,” Cat stressed, “I don’t want there to be any mistake, here.”  She glanced at Lena’s hand. “I’d like to investigate that further, in a more … conducive setting.”

They smiled at each other.  Lena’s head was feeling light.  There was something sexy about that, that she couldn’t quite explain.  Being told “yes, I want that, and more, but you’re going to have to wait.”  Delayed gratification, she guessed.  She rarely did that.  She was willing to do it now, though.  Not just for the deal, either.  For whatever else might come along with it.  

They made another date before they left.  Lena went back to L Corp, feeling strangely excited.  Maybe it would only be a few dates, maybe they’d get to some intimacy, maybe it would be something more.  But it was something and for once, it had potential.  She wanted to know what it took to pick up Cat’s thoughts, because she knew that her head was brimming with them, but she found them difficult to read.  Maybe they just moved too fast.  Her emotions though, were easy, because they were powerful and ran deep.  She was a peculiar creature, a white hat who was willing to be cold and cutthroat.  That was a turn-on, too.  

She didn’t dare think she’d found a kindred spirit.  It was too much to hope.  But maybe, maybe she had.


	5. Cat - Part II

Cat’s business lunch with Lena Luthor had taken the rather unexpected turn of morphing into a date, with plans for another.  Cat still scolded herself mildly for chasing after another young one, but, she insisted, this was different.  Lena was a CEO, like herself.  She understood what it was to carry the weight of a corporation on one’s narrow shoulders, along with the accompanying demands for interminable growth, and thousands upon thousands of livelihoods relying upon your decisions.  And there was also the brass tacks matter that Cat was going to need all the votes she could muster on the board when it came down to making her reappointment as CEO official.  She knew there were more than a few people who wouldn’t want to let her back in so easily.  

Lena Luthor wasn't some child.  So what if she was twenty years younger?  It wasn’t like dating … well, it wasn’t like dating Kara, she finally admitted to herself.  

No, it was entirely different.  Except for the bit about her being several inches taller and several years younger and jaw-droppingly beautiful.  In a different way, though.  Lena was sophisticated.  Cat was looking forward to getting to know her.  The sexual tension had been pretty palpable by the end of that lunch, she thought.

Her mood was buoyant when she met Kara for lunch.  They went to Noonan’s, nothing fancy, just a salad for herself and Kara’s usual double cheeseburger and fries.  She knew that Kara preferred the routine of Noonan’s and felt awkward in more opulent settings.

Kara talked about the stories she was chasing.  She kept wanting the politics beat but she kept ending up on the crime beat.  It was, it seemed, just the way of things, but she was doing a satisfactory job, or so she’d assumed, since Snapper hadn’t fired her yet.

Cat nodded with approval.  “Well, I told you, Kara, I wanted you to learn from the best, and he’s a son of a bitch, but he is the best.  That’s why he’s at CatCo.  I wouldn’t let him leave.”  She peered at Kara.  “I notice you’ve used Supergirl as a source quite a bit.  How did you manage to get that set up?”

Kara shifted uncomfortably.  Cat enjoyed her discomfort a little too much.  “Ah, you know,” she said vaguely.  “James’s connection is … you know…”

“Oh, the magic watch, right?”  Cat supplied mercifully.  Two years later and Kara might be more mature but she was still a terrible liar.

“Yeah, well… at first,”  Kara answered, and then, becoming more decisive, she added, “But I actually have a direct line at this point.”

Cat felt, absurdly, a wave of jealousy, despite being fairly certain that Kara was only talking about herself.  “Well, well.  All that time and I never did get a mobile number for her.  She must really like you.”

Kara blushed.  Cat gave her a predatory smile.  It was just like old times.

“Well,” Kara answered as the color left her cheeks, “I don’t think she didn’t like you.  But maybe a girl has to have a few mysteries, you know?”

Cat scoffed.  “What would you know about mystery, Sunny Danvers?”

“Plenty,” Kara shot back. 

“Not as much as you think, I’m betting.”

“I unravel them for a living, now, Cat.”

Cat paused and looked at her.  Kara’s breaths were coming quick and shallow and that little flush in her cheeks that she got when she was passionate about something, it was… She shook her head.  “Touché, Kara Danvers.”

And then Kara broke into a smile, that sunny smile that Cat would never admit had lifted her mood on so many gloomy days.  How a person could smile that way after they’d been through half the things Cat knew she’d been through was unfathomable sometimes.  

“So, how are you settling in?  Is Carter happy to have you back?”  Given the choice between moving to DC with his mother and spending a couple of years living with his father but not having to leave his school and his friends, Carter had chosen the latter.  Cat didn’t blame him.

Cat sighed.  “Well, yes and no,” she answered lightly.  “He’s a teenage boy, now.  They all have to pretend they don’t want their mothers around.”  She smirked.  “Just wait until he finds out I have a date.”

Kara’s mouth dropped open.  “A date?”  The emotions blurred together on her face for a moment but then she smiled.  “Really?  That’s great!  I don’t think I knew about any dates the whole time I was working for you.”

“Yes, I know,” Cat answered pointedly, “but thank you for reminding me.”  She took a sip of her sparkling water.  “In any case, yes.  Cat Grant has a date.  And I have to say I’m rather looking forward to it.”

“Who is it?”  Kara asked.

Cat paused.  “Hm, I don’t want to talk too much about it yet.  Don’t want to jinx it.”

Kara looked a little disappointed.  “Come on, can you at least tell me how you met?”

Cat rolled her eyes.  “Fine.  It was supposed to be a business meeting.  But there was just … some chemistry.  So, we’re going out in a… non-business capacity.”

“A non-business capacity!”  Kara laughed.  “That sounds super-romantic.”

Cat scoffed.  “Oh, shut it, Kiera.  Like you’re the authority on romance.”

Kara looked hurt for a moment.  She sighed with resignation.  “Fair enough,” she admitted.  “I can’t argue.  I haven’t had a lot of luck.”

“James Olson didn’t work out for you, hm?”  Cat was mildly surprised.  All those damned millennial  _ feelings _ flying back and forth between those two, she’d expected that it would have happened at some point.  Even Cat Grant wasn’t immune to the charms of a hunk like Olson.

Kara shook her head.  “I don’t know why, really.  It just... “  She shrugged.  “Anyway, there is someone I like.  A friend.  We’ve been close for a while now and everyone insists that they like me so I’m thinking maybe I’ll take a shot at it.”

Cat patted Kara’s hand.  “Good for you,” she said.  “Remember what I’ve taught you.”

“You haven’t taught me anything about romance except that you pay me not to have feelings,” Kara protested.

Cat waved a dismissive hand.  “Yes, yes, but in general.  Carpe Diem.  Seize the day.  Dive.  Et cetera.”  She smiled.  “Go after what you want, Kara.  It seems you’ve been getting better at that on your own anyway, but this –relationships, I mean– has always been your Achilles Heel.”

Kara nodded, smiling.  “Yours too.”

“Shut it,” Cat rejoined with a warning tone.  But Kara knew her.  Cat had more than a little anxiety about this Lena Luthor business.  And Kara knew her well enough to tell.  Damn that girl.

Kara glanced at her watch.  Cat realized that they’d been sitting here at this table for the better part of two hours.  “Snapper’s informed me that I’m not supposed to expect special treatment just because you’re back…” Kara began, becoming fretful.

Cat nodded.  “Good.  And you shouldn’t.  Get back to work.”

Kara made the ridiculous gesture of trying to contribute to the check.  Cat refused to have it.  They walked back upstairs and rode the elevator together trading affectionate jabs as Cat remembered all over again why this sunny little Amazon had caught hold of her heart four years ago.  She was sweet.  She was funny.  She was beautiful and still seemingly not fully aware of it.  She was smarter than she gave herself credit for.  Cheeky.  And God, those shoulders.  Those legs.   _ Cat, for Christ’s sake, grow up. _

But Cat reminded herself that she was chasing something else.  Something promising.  And Cat Grant was good at chasing things.   
  



	6. Kara - Part II

Cat dating was a liberating prospect.  It made her firmly, unequivocally unavailable, so Kara could finally deal honestly with herself about Lena.

She fiddled with the edge of her skirt as she sat looking at her list.  She liked this skirt, because the hem had a rough, raised pattern that felt good under her fingers.  She could pinch it between her thumb and forefinger and drag her grip along it, feeling the bumps and ridges, when she needed to focus.  And right now, she needed to focus.  

She had her list.  Her list of reasons why she should carpe the ol’ diem with Lena.  She wasn’t sure that this was a situation in which a list was actually going to be helpful, but she needed to put her brain into some sort of order.  She read over what she had so far, on the pro side of the list:

  1. So, so pretty
  2. Lots of fun
  3. Generous
  4. Kind
  5. Gets along with my friends 
  6. ALEX AND MAGGIE LIKE HER
  7. Has sent me a LOT flowers
  8. Really soft hands
  9. She gets me
  10. It’s like she knows what I’m thinking a lot of the time
  11. Knows all the really good Chinese restaurants
  12. Everyone thinks she already likes me



On the con side of the list, she had:

  1. I’m not totally sure she likes girls that way
  2. I’m not totally sure she likes ME that way
  3. I don’t want to ruin our friendship and/or look stupid
  4. She doesn’t talk about her feelings a lot and I wish she did
  5. Sometimes I feel like I talk too much around her



A part of her was disgusted with herself.  Wasn’t this what tweener girls did in junior high school?  She wasn’t sure.  In junior high school, she was busy in half-day intensive OT sessions, learning how to control her visual and auditory input so that her senses weren’t bombarded to the point of literal, physical pain.  Getting used to her powers had been hard.  Kal-El had talked about struggling a little with that as a grade-schooler, but she often suspected that her adjustment had been harder than his because she was older when she got here.  Anyway, she supposed that that was an acceptable enough excuse for why she was resorting to this absurd, probably childish form of deciding whether or not to go for it and pursue Lena.

Kara knew she wasn’t always good at picking up on other people’s feelings, but Alex and Maggie were utterly convinced, and even James and Winn had independently given her a gentle push at various points, too.  Hell, even Livewire had ironically referred to Lena as her girlfriend that time she escaped and started tearing up the city. Honestly, she asked herself, what would be the worst that happened if Lena wasn’t interested?  Lena was so caring, and so careful with her, even if she wasn’t interested, she’d probably let her down easy, right?  Kara groaned.  She didn’t really want to entertain that possibility.  She just wanted to skip past the asking part and just already be holding hands with Lena somewhere and kissing and looking at the stars and whatever else it was that normal couples did.

What a pleasant thought.  She wondered what kind of a kisser Lena was.  She was suddenly very keen to find out.  

  
  


******

  
  


Kara decided that she would do it over drinks one evening later in the week.  She thought about doing something with elaborate with flowers and dinner, but they’d been friends for so long it seemed silly.  Besides, Lena had already sent her a truckload of flowers, so just showing up with a bouquet would seem anti-climactic.  Maybe, she thought, maybe she should make plans with Lena like they often did, just go out and have a nice time with her and then kiss her at the end of the night and see what happened.  But that seemed a little unceremonious somehow.

Nope, she decided.  Drinks.  After work drinks, someplace nice, someplace quiet with some nice mood lighting.  Maybe a wine bar?  Lena liked wine.  And they’d have a few drinks and she’d just tell her how she felt.  She wrote it out first, because she was so much better in writing than at talking face to face.  She wrote out how they’d been good friends for a long time and that she’d always thought there was something more but she’d been too afraid to try because she’d had a lot of bad luck.  How Lena was so special to her and she wanted to get closer to her, spend more time with her, be part of something together with her.  How she’d understand if it wasn’t her thing or she just didn’t want to ruin their friendship but that she really hoped that Lena felt the same way, because sometimes it really seemed like she did.  Once she’d written it all out, she read it over a hundred times or so, until she felt like she had all of it sort of internalized to the point where she wouldn’t fall apart when it came time to do the thing.

So she stood waiting out front of Veloce Wine Bar at eight pm (it was vaguely sad to her that Lena didn’t leave her office until this hour).  She listened for her familiar heartbeat until she was able to pick it out from several blocks away.  A few moments later, her car pulled up and she stepped out, still in her dark suit with her hair up off her neck.  She glided up to Kara, smiling as though she was the only thing in the world, threw her arms around her, and gave her the sort of wonderfully uninhibited hug that they always shared.  Kara was careful not to squeeze too hard in return, which was difficult.  She was nervous.

They went and found a table inside and Lena ordered a couple of glasses of red.  “We have to make up for that swill that was served at James’s opening,” she decided.

Kara smiled.

They chatted for a bit, and over the second glass, Lena finally inquired, “So, I know you said you had something to tell me…”

Kara’s heart sped up.  “Well, uh, yes, ah….”  She tried not to start breathing those panicked breaths.  

“...but I have some news too, do you mind if I go first?”

Kara felt like a trapped rabbit for a moment.  She was afraid that if she let Lena go first, she’d lose her nerve, but she didn’t want to be rude.  “Uh…. okay.”

Lena smiled.  “So… I had a date last night.”

Kara felt all the feeling drain out of her fingers.  “A… date?”

Lena nodded.  

“Is… is that good?” Kara asked, half hoping it would be a story about a bad date and then she could step in and save the day.

Lena nodded.  “I think so, yes.  I … I wasn’t expecting to meet someone but, I really think it could go somewhere, you know?”

Kara felt a smile freeze itself onto her face.  She would just ignore the feeling of her heart being stomped on with kryptonite stilettos.  “Oh, well, uh… congratulations?”

Lena was beaming now.  “And… I… well, I just wanted to tell you first, because you’re a close friend.  I’m very private, you know.”

“No kidding,” Kara snorted.

Lena pursed her mouth at Kara.  “But, well… anyway, she’s a bit older but I don’t mind.  She’s so attractive.”

“She?”  Goddamnit.  Lena was determined to make this a study in missed opportunity in every way possible, wasn’t she.

Lena nodded.  “I… I’m sorry I haven’t explicitly shared that with you before now, but… I do prefer women.  I… I sort of assumed you’d figured that out about me.”

Kara didn’t know what to say.  _  Well, I wasn’t sure, but my sister knew.  Something about your collar.  I don’t know. _  “I, uh … you know.  I didn’t want to assume anything.”  She had wanted to assume everything.  She had wanted to assume she would have a chance.  For someone with superspeed, she seemed to always be just a little too slow.

“Anyway.  You’re a close friend, and I felt a little weird about not having told you that, and … and you know, I may be spending more time with her, if it goes well, but I don’t want you to think that means I’m ignoring or neglecting you.”

“Oh!  Pfff!” Kara waved a hand around, trying to make it seem like it was nothing.  Of course it was fine.  Of course she wouldn’t mind not having Lena as her non-date when she had to go out places with her friends.  Of course.  Of course.  Fine.  Fine.  “No, of course.  I’m… I’m really happy for you.”  She leaned forward and gave Lena what was probably the most awkward hug they’d ever shared.

Damnit.  Why did she smell so good?  Like jasmine and  honey.

Lena pulled back, smiling.  “So,” she sighed, looking so breezy and beautiful.  “What was it you wanted to tell me?”

Kara bit her lip so hard it would have made a human bleed.  She made something up that she didn’t remember later.  She spent the rest of their cocktail hour working on not falling apart.  She went home and spent the rest of her evening not crying and crushing can after can into tiny silver pellets and stacking them on the kitchen counter.


	7. Lena – Part III

Lena wasn’t sure what to do with the feelings that came flooding from Kara when she announced she’d started seeing someone.  Kara had clearly been nervous from the second Lena got out of the car, and it became clear when Lena told her she was seeing someone that Kara had intended to declare some romantic interest that evening.  A pang of regret had filled Lena.   _ Oh, Kara, your timing, _ she thought.  She debated confronting her, trying to say something reassuring, but Kara had opted not to confess, and Lena decided it was probably better to just let her save face.  She wished she could comfort her, but she knew it wasn’t really her place.

Just two weeks ago, it would have played out differently.  But Lena liked Cat, and wanted to give things a chance.  Plus, it was, on the whole, a delicate situation.  Risk-averse Lena wasn’t in the habit of mixing business and pleasure in that way, and it wouldn’t do to put the brakes on things with Cat right now unless it was really clear that either the deal or the dating wasn’t going anywhere.

But at the moment, neither was true.  They’d had a second date.  Cat brought her to a tony women’s supper club in the gay district, where she had a private table in the upstairs balcony, overlooking the dance floor.  Cat was considerably less reserved that time about touching her across the table, and then after a few martinis, under it, brushing her fingertips over Lena’s knee and sending delicious little shivers up her leg.  

And the deal appeared to be moving forward too, as they discussed what would and would not be on paper.

But, again, it was all delicate.  She wasn’t entirely sure she trusted Cat’s motives for dating her (she was still tricky to read), but then, she'd picked up enough to feel sure Cat probably didn’t entirely trust hers either.  Lena wasn’t sure whether she simply didn’t mind that tension or whether it was actively exciting to her.  In either case, Cat Grant herself was exciting, and Lena enjoyed her tartness, her firecracker temperament, and the charm that she could turn on like flipping on a light switch.

Their first kiss happened that night, on their second date.  They were on the dance floor, slow-dancing while a tall, elegant woman sang a silky rendition of Etta James’s “At Last.”  

“Do you believe in all that?” Lena murmured, her head tilted down to rest her forehead against Cat’s.

“All what?”

“All the stuff in the love songs, of course,” Lena replied, tightening her grip around Cat’s small waist.  She was soft, and smelled delicious.  Her scent was something green, fresh, and heady. “At last, the skies above are blue…?”

There was a pause as Cat considered how to answer.  “I think,” she said finally, “that we each have to define love in our own way.  The songs are one definition and even among those, there are a thousand, a million, whatever.  But love changes, every time.  It’s different with every person, every relationship.  It’s yours to take and make what you will.”

Lena smiled at that, and closed her eyes.  “I like that,” she murmured.

“I like you,” Cat murmured back.  And then she pushed up onto her toes, and pressed herself into Lena for a soft, teasing kiss.

Lena hadn’t been kissed in a while.  She’d always thought it would eventually be Kara who broke that streak, but right now, she was glad to be under the soft lighting with Cat in her arms, exchanging brief, gentle kisses out of time with the pulsing jazz that flooded the room.  She tasted Cat’s martinis. She let her hands drift down Cat’s back, then up again, to toy with the ends of her flaxen hair.  

“Are you sure about that?  This isn’t all some ploy to get a better deal, is it?”  Lena’s tone was teasing, but not.

Cat’s lips brushed against hers for a moment.  “If I were trying to do that,” she sighed, her voice low and velvety, “I’d have taken you to bed already.”

“Oh, is that right?” Lena chuckled.

“Mm,” Cat confirmed.

Lena kissed her again.  “Someone’s very confident.”  The truth was somewhat more complicated; she could feel Cat's insecurities bubble beneath the surface, but nevertheless, she was charmed by her ruthless flirtations.

“Not without reason.”  

She enjoyed Cat’s hands roaming her shoulders, her arms.  “Hm, I see.”  They swayed with the music for a moment more.  “So, do you want that, then?”

“Of course,” Cat answered, and her fingers brushed down the back of Lena’s neck.  “It’s going to happen,” she said without a hint of uncertainty or hesitation. “Just not tonight.”

Lena’s hand drifted down to Cat’s hip.  “What if I want to, tonight?”

Cat kissed her again, and then nipped at her bottom lip.  Lena took a sharp little breath at the pleasant stab of pain.  “You’ll.  Have.  To wait,”  Cat purred, punctuating each part of her statement with another little kiss.

Lena tried not to die.

  
  


********

  
  


Six dates in two weeks.  Lena hadn’t had something like this in a long time.  Their goodnight kisses were getting progressively hotter, but Cat continued to demur when Lena invited her upstairs to her place at the end of the night.  Lena wasn’t sure whether delaying sex in the face of what was becoming unbearable tension between them was a power move on Cat’s part, or something completely unrelated.  Really, it could be either.  Lena understood and appreciated Cat’s discretion (she operated in much the same way), so it could be that Cat simply wanted to be sure Lena could be trusted before sleeping with her.  

In any case, whatever it was, things were otherwise moving at full tilt, and in the middle of their third week, Cat finally invited Lena home with her.  Lena went.

Lena understood within moments of entering Cat’s spacious, mostly immaculate penthouse the probable reason for Cat’s delay.  She saw a fencing bag in the foyer, a pile of high school math and chemistry books stacked on a counter in the kitchen, a jacket with “Fallout Boy” emblazoned on the back, draped over a chair.  Cat had a teenager.  Probably a son, by the look of things.  No wonder she was careful.  And no wonder she was always trying to get home early enough to see him before he went to bed.  Lena often felt something pulling at Cat’s thoughts when they were together, especially as their evenings grew late; this must be what it was.

There was no end to the complications of running an empire, was there.

“Your son’s?” she asked, gesturing to the jacket over the chair.

Cat nodded.  “He’s with his father tonight.”

Lena nodded, understanding.

Cat started toward the bar in the living room, but Lena wasn’t interested in another drink.  She was finally alone with Cat Grant and she wasn’t about to let a minute of it go to waste.  She closed the distance between them, slipped up behind Cat, clasped her around the waist, and leaned down to kiss the side of her neck.  After a moment of enjoying the attention, Cat turned around and faced Lena, pulling her face down to kiss her mouth.  “Why don’t we go inside,” she said in a husky whisper, jerking her chin toward what was presumably the bedroom.  

The kisses were passionate, and Cat was purposeful, but unhurried, when it came to getting Lena out of her clothes.  Lena could feel a certain anxiousness from her, a wondering whether this younger woman was going to want things that were outside of her comfort zone.  Lena certainly had her quirks, but she’d never introduce them on the first time out, anyway.  She matched Cat’s pace, settled herself into Cat’s energy.  It was easy; Cat was a woman who knew what she liked, which made her an easy lead to follow.  

Sex always meant a decision for Lena; how much did she want to open herself and her mind to the other person?  How much was enough to be able to read their needs without getting caught in the pieces of them she’d rather avoid?  Total openness made her effective at reading her partner’s desires, but in the best circumstances it also meant that she could become overwhelmed by what she made them feel.  

But it had been a while, and she was craving the intimacy.  She pulled back the curtain more than she would normally do, and sought out Cat’s mind with hers, carefully extending herself as they kissed.  She didn’t pick up Cat’s thoughts and desires as words, the way she did with most people.  But in her mind’s eye, she saw the shape of Cat’s body and it would light up everywhere Cat wanted to be touched, and she followed the illuminated map along Cat’s skin.

“You’re very… intuitive,” Cat remarked with a sigh, raking her fingers through Lena’s hair.

Lena smirked, paused to trail her tongue along the lower edge of Cat’s ribcage, then looked up.  “Call it a gift,” she replied.  She knew she had an unfair advantage here, but she wasn’t sorry.  

A part of Lena still regretted that she wasn’t doing this with Kara, as she’d hoped she’d get to, but Cat Grant was something more than a mere consolation prize.  She was interesting, sexy, and different from anyone else Lena had been with.  She made her way down Cat’s small frame, following the light trails that flickered in her mind.  She settled between her thighs (how bright Cat’s aching was in the dark of Lena’s mind!), and looked up, smiling a warm, smoky smile and looking at the green of Cat’s eyes gleaming with anticipation in the dim.  “Is this what you want?” she asked, knowing it was.

“Stop talking,” Cat breathed.  “Just do it.”

Lena smiled at the note of hunger in Cat’s voice.  She tsked.  “So impatient,” she scolded, teasing her inner thighs with gentle fingertips.

“You already knew that about me,” Cat replied, biting her lip.  

“Mm,” Lena agreed.  And feeling impatient herself, she dipped her tongue in for a taste of Cat, and licked her till she came.  It took some while, but Lena was patient and had no particular desire for it to end sooner than it needed to.  She followed the light-maps of Cat’s cravings in her head, pleasing her until she relaxed enough to let go, and fall apart.  There was nothing like making a beautiful woman come.  Cat wasn’t a talker, but she did a bit of moaning and cursing, which was hotter than it had any right to be.

Relaxing was hard for Cat, Lena could tell.  She idly wondered how long it had been for her.  Cat didn’t give her much time to wonder, though, because as soon as she finished, she was maneuvering Lena onto her back, murmuring in her ear: 

“So, tell me, Miss Luthor… What do you like?”


	8. Cat – Part III

Cat didn’t want to think about how long it had been since she’d gotten laid, but it was longer than what she told Lena when she asked.  No point in scaring her off.  

Lena Luthor was an absolute treasure in the sack, whether giving or receiving.  She had an almost spooky ability to pick up on exactly what Cat wanted, and a delightfully filthy mouth when expressing her own needs and wants.  And good God, but she was soft in all the right places.  It was hard to tell a lot from the first time with anyone, but it was a promising start, she thought.  

She ran into Kara in the lobby the following day.  She looked like the direct inverse of Cat’s mood.  She looked like the opposite of someone who had gotten laid the night before. She looked like someone who fully believed in the depths of their soul that they would never so much as be kissed again in the entirety of their natural born life.

“What’s wrong, Kara?  Did you just find out Lance Bass was gay?”

Kara shook her head and made a half-hearted effort to correct her morose expression.  

“What’s wrong, then?”

She sighed.  “I don’t want to get into it now.”

“Didn’t pan out with your prospect?” Cat guessed.

Kara waved her off.  “Yeah, something like that.  I really don’t want to talk about it.  You pay me not to have feelings, remember?”

If Cat didn’t know better, she’d almost say that Kara’s voice sounded a little bitter for a moment, there.  It was the second time since she’d returned that Kara had brought up that little nugget.  Cat barely remembered even saying it, but for some reason it seemed to have burned itself onto Kara’s eardrums and burrowed into her sunny little spirit.

Cat sighed.  She was still riding the endorphins of the night before and it left her feeling disposed to a little benevolence.  “Well, you know the rules, Kara.  Keep it off the premises.  But if you want to pour your little heart out later, I’d be glad to take you to Noonan’s for a few drinks and let you…”  She waved a hand, waggling her fingers as if trying to get something off of them.  “...leak feelings all over the place.”

Kara glanced around, frowning.  “Um, yeah, maybe.  I’ll, uh… I’ll text you.”  She scampered away.

Cat puzzled for a moment.  Had Kara Danvers just blown her off?  What was happening in the world?

A text came in from Lena:   _ Last night was nice.  Hope we can see each other again soon.   _

Cat made a mental note to reply later.  It took her two hours to respond:   _ Yes, it was.  Sorry for my delayed reply, I've been busy today.  I’ll call you soon. _

  
  
  


************

  
  


Cat was stomping back and forth across the carpet, as she was wont to do.  “And now, as if I don’t know it’s him, Peterson is trying to block my reappointment from even coming to a vote, which means I’m permanently stuck as temporary CEO until they install whoever else it is they think they want!  This is my company!  I’m not going to allow them to do this!”  And she stopped, with hands on her hips, her chest heaving up and down. 

Rosensweig, her hippie therapist, looked at her impassively for a moment.  “Catherine,” she said after a long silence.  “You’ve spent ten minutes talking about this and we both know that this isn’t what you’re really here to talk about today.”

Cat scoffed, but of course she was right.  She couldn’t imagine being friends with Vera Rosensweig socially, but as a therapist, she was annoyingly incisive and tended to challenge Cat in a way few people did out of deference to either her money, her power, or her outsized personality.  Cat supposed she needed that in her life.  “And what am I here to talk about today, Vera?”

Rosensweig lifted an eyebrow above the thick, black rims of her glasses.  “You tell me.  It’s not this board nonsense, though.  You’re just venting about that and you know I can’t really help you with it.  So what’s really on your mind?”

Cat sighed and sat down on the edge of the couch, picking idly at a loose yarn poking from the afghan that covered it.  

“How’s Lena Luthor?” Rosensweig pressed after a moment.

“Oh!” Cat exclaimed.  “Well, it’s … you know, it’s been… moving a bit fast, if I’m being honest.  It’s been a while for me, as you know, and I’m trying to not seem … you know…”  She paused and then said with disgust, “... _ desperate. _ ”

“How are you making out with that?”

Cat paused.  “Alright, I think.  We’ve been seeing a lot of each other but we only just slept together for the first time two nights ago.  That’s about the best I can do for taking it slow.”  

“How do you feel about her?”

Cat waved a hand.  “You know.  She’s smart and beautiful and sophisticated and she understands a lot of what I deal with…”

Rosensweig nodded patiently.  “But how do you  _ feel _ about her?”

Cat hesitated.  “I… you know.  I like her.”

Rosensweig looked unimpressed.  “And?”

“And what, Vera?  It’s only been three weeks.”

“Well, does she make you nervous?  Do you trust her?  Do feel comfortable with her?  Do you want this to become something more serious?”

Cat wrinkled her nose.  Of course, she paid her to ask these kinds of questions, but nevertheless, she was annoyed by them.  “Yes, I don’t know, fairly, and maybe,” she snapped.

Rosensweig chuckled.  “I see.  So, have you started doing that thing yet?”   


“What thing?”

“The thing where you start finding fault with the other person and pulling away for no good reason?”

“I don’t do that.”

“Yes, you do.”

“ _ One _ time, Vera.  I did it  _ one _ time.”

“More than one, Catherine.  I’ve watched this with no less than five relationships in the past ten years.  You have a pattern.  So, are you doing it yet?”

Cat pondered.  She didn’t know why she’d delayed replying to Lena’s text.  It was a small thing, but maybe it was the canary in the coal mine.  “Maybe.”

Rosensweig nodded.  She sat quiet for a moment and waited for Cat to think for a moment.  Cat stared at the dust motes floating in the light slanting through Rosensweig’s blinds.  

“I never did really resolve my feelings for Kara,” she confessed after a moment.

“Ah,” Rosensweig sighed with satisfaction,  “There it is.”

Cat frowned.  “I thought I had.  I thought I had made peace with it, because of the age difference and the sticky power dynamic of me being her boss and mentor and whatnot.  But… she’s grown a lot in the last two years, Vera.  And a lot of the childish things about her that I was able to use as excuses to dismiss my feelings aren’t there now.  And all the things I saw in her are that much more evident.”  She bit her lip.  “She’s becoming every bit the strong, brave, smart,  funny woman I knew she would.”

Rosensweig shook her head.  “Does Lena know you’re still hung up on her?”

“I’m not hung up on her!” Cat protested.  

“You’re just talking to your therapist about her for no reason,” Rosensweig shot back.

Cat made a little growling sound in her throat.  

“Catherine, you need to be honest with yourself about this.  If your feelings for Kara are still an issue, and you’re serious about doing something with Lena other than just having a good time –and mind you, there’s nothing wrong with just having a good time– but, if you think you want more than that, you’ve got to be sure you’ve let go of Kara.  You’ve got to accept that that’s not a choice you’re making.”

Cat sighed.  “It’s not like I haven’t tried.”

“It’s not fair for Lena to be your second choice; you understand that, right?”

Cat shook her head.  “That’s not how it is,” she protested.  “Lena is brilliant and beautiful and I enjoy her company and … I’m not using her to get over Kara, if that’s what you’re suggesting.  I do like her for who she is.”

Rosensweig took a pen and tapped at the frame of her glasses while she thought about it.  “Well, that may be.  But you don’t seem to be able to put to rest the question of what might have been if you had acted with Kara.”

Cat groaned.  “I need an action plan, Vera.  What are my choices?”

Rosensweig thought for a few more moments.  “Well.  You keep dating Lena and ignore or repress your feelings for Kara and hope they go away.  Of course, you do need to consider that you may be using your feelings for Kara to keep yourself from getting too emotionally involved with Lena.”  

Cat frowned.  But with her well-documented intimacy issues, she supposed she couldn’t really argue that point.

“Or… You put things on hold with Lena and actually pursue Kara.  Get it out of your system.  Answer the question.  Maybe she’s not even interested.  Maybe she is, but it’ll be a disaster.  Or maybe it’ll be everything you hoped.  But go answer the question.”

Cat didn’t like that option either.  Too much risk.  “Please tell me you have a third option.”

Rosensweig smirked.  “You date both of them.  You be honest with them both about the fact that you’re seeing other people, and you see what happens.”

“That sounds like work.”

“Relationships  _ are _ work, Catherine, you know that.  Honestly, I feel like option three is a little advanced for you.  But you need to give this some thought and ask yourself what you want from these two women, you know?”

It was a fair question.  Lena shared many of her tastes and habits.  Lena felt like an equal, a peer, despite their age difference.  Lena was also exciting because she was new.  It wasn’t fair to compare Kara to that.  But  Kara knew her intimately, and they had a long history together of looking out for each other, protecting each other.  It wasn’t fair to expect Lena to compete with their long history of emotional, if not romantic, closeness.  Lena was a half-closed book whose pages Cat was dying to run her fingers through.  Kara was an old, familiar book whose margins bore a hundred of Cat’s scribbled notes, reminding her who she was.  

She thought about how it stung when Kara had declined her offer of a sympathetic ear.  Those feelings were old, and ran deep.  

“At the very least,” Cat sighed finally, “I think I need to sit down with Kara and just talk to her.  I don’t know how she feels about me.  Maybe she’ll just completely dissuade me and it’ll solve the problem for me.”

Rosensweig threw her hands up in her “maybe” gesture.  

“Thank you,” Cat responded with thick sarcasm.  “Helpful as ever.”

But it was.  Cat would march herself in front of the firing squad, and Kara would shoot her down, and that would be the end of it.  She left therapy, feeling good about that plan.  Well, that was an overstatement.  But she was feeling something about it.  That would have to do.

She had dinner with Lena tomorrow night, but she resolved to clear some time to sit down with Kara and try to hash it all out.


	9. Kara – Part III

Kara had been depressed since her aborted attempt to confess her feelings to Lena.  She’d avoided talking to her on the phone, mostly just replying to her texts, and gave up inviting her places.  What was the point?  She had a girlfriend now, it would be weird.  It was hard, though.  She was used to seeing Lena and talking to her on a regular basis, and her world felt a little empty without that.

She’d chosen to throw herself into work in the intervening weeks; she had half a dozen stories on the burner (even though one of them was about how the stupid national trend of clown crimes had finally come to National City).  She had some nighttime ops she was running with J’onn and Alex at the DEO.  She stayed busy.  She even blew off an offer of drinks with Cat because she just couldn’t stand to torment herself with one more person she was pining after.  

Alex came over one night after work and noticed the stacked rows of crushed cans that were starting to overrun the countertop, and sighed, “Kara, what’s the matter?”

Alex knew her habits, so there was no point lying.  “Look, I didn’t want to talk about it, but…”  She curled her legs up on the couch and pushed a throw pillow into her lap.  “I was going to talk to Lena… I had a big speech ready to go and everything.”  She began kneading at the pillow while she talked.  “But literally the moment I was going to do it, she told me she just started seeing someone and she really likes her.”

Alex groaned out loud.  “Are you kidding?”  She shuffled over to the couch and put her arms around Kara.  “I’m so sorry,” she sighed.  

Kara shook her head.  She’d been trying not to cry about this, but she couldn’t help it with Alex.  “It’s my fault.  You guys told me and told me I should go for it and I waited and waited and…”  A hot tear leaked out of the corner of her eye.

Alex squeezed her upper arms the way Kara liked, that always calmed her since they were kids.  “I know, I know,” she whispered.  “Look, things happen the way they do for a reason.”

Kara shook her head, and the tears flowed more freely now.  “I just … Alex, I waited because I was still hung up on Cat Grant.”

Alex didn’t say anything.  Kara knew her sister never thought crushing on her boss was a great idea, no matter how hard Kara tried to explain that it was more than that.  “You know that was never gonna happen, right?”

“I know,” Kara sniffled.  “But it didn’t matter.  She was amazing.  She still is.  I’m so much of who I am because of her.  It’s…”  She stopped, sniffling, trying to collect herself.  “Nobody else was… You know that line from Romeo and Juliet, ‘she doth teach the torches to burn bright’?”

Alex shrugged.  “Yeah, I guess.”

Kara wiped her eyes, continuing to squeeze and the pillow in her lap.  “Being with people that way is hard for me.  They have to be worth it.  But Cat burns really bright.  It’s hard to find the motivation to try with anyone who doesn’t.”

Alex kept squeezing her while she cried.  “But Lena does, doesn’t she?”  she asked finally.

Kara nodded.  

“Well, look,”  Alex offered, trying to find a bright side, because she knew that Kara needed the bright side, “you know, Maggie was dating someone when I first met her.  It ended up not lasting very long and then we … well, you know.  I’m just saying, it doesn’t mean you won’t get a shot, but maybe this wasn’t the right time.”

Kara pressed down on the pillow in her lap and leaned against Alex.  “I had finally let go of the idea of Cat.  She’s even dating someone now.  I was so relieved, you know?  I was ready.”

“Well,” Alex said gently, “then you’ll be more ready.  Or maybe you’ll meet someone else in the meantime.  You never know what’s going to happen.”

Kara sighed.  She did a little more quiet crying on Alex’s shoulder, and then they watched Galaxy Quest before Alex went home.

  
  


*****

 

Kara decided to go out that Friday night.  She didn’t know what the plan was, but after chatting with Maggie and Alex, she’d sort of committed to the idea that maybe she should go out and try to meet some girls.  “We’ll take you someplace nice,” Alex promised.  “Maggie and me.  And maybe we’ll round up Vasquez too, if she feels like it.”

“Vasquez is gay?”

Alex broke out laughing.  “Oh, sweetie.”

Kara frowned.  She hated that she was sometimes so oblivious to things that seemed so obvious to everyone else.  She could perceive differences in pressure to within a tolerance of three microns, but “she’s gay” or “she likes you” were like Sanskrit to her.

But Maggie assured her that she was going to turn a lot of heads.  She picked someplace classy that was down by the waterfront and was named after some lesbian novel that Kara hadn’t heard of.  “It’ll be a nice night out for Alex, we don’t get fancy all that much.”  She patted her on the back.  “Trust me, you will have all kinds of girls buying you drinks and asking you to dance. Even if you don’t meet anyone you like, the attention will make you feel good, I promise.”

So, Kara put on the one shiny, expensive dress she owned, the green one that made people look at her.  Maggie and Alex came over in their sparkly dresses and helped her fuss with her makeup and put her hair up.  Vasquez turned up a half hour before they were ready to leave, wearing a tuxedo jacket and trousers, with a white shirt unbuttoned two down, and looking so utterly perfect in it that Kara felt a little dumb that she had needed to be told Vasquez was a lesbian.  

The place they went was elegant, alright.  It was called Rubyfruit, which sounded more like a juice bar to Kara than a gay bar, but no matter.  It was smallish, but had two levels: on the lower, a dance floor, a small stage for a jazz trio, and a bar, with a few tables around the outside, and then on the upper, a deck that wrapped around the whole room, overlooking the dance floor.  You could get dinner in the upper deck, Alex told her, but tables were actually a bit of money to reserve, since most of them were held at a premium for National City’s top-tier power lesbians, or “The Illesbianati,” as Maggie joked.  Kara blanched at the cover price, but she paid it and went in.  Everyone was dressed nicely and even the bartenders looked like it would cost money just to talk to them.   

Alex and Maggie each took Kara once around the floor and then Vasquez danced with her for a few songs, until it seemed she'd caught the eye of a luscious redhead at the end of the bar, so she asked if Kara would be alright for a bit on her own.  Kara shrugged.  She wandered over to the bar and was about to flag a bartender and order her usual club soda, when an attractive older brunette in a blue silk skirt suit slid up next to her and offered to get her something.

Kara gave her a shy smile.  “Well, if you don't mind the fact that I'm not sure I'll be much fun.”

The brunette looked her over and smiled back.  “I'll take my chances.”

“Don't say you weren't warned.”

“What'll you have?”

“Mm, just a club soda.”

The brunette winked at her.  “On a bender, eh?”

Kara shrugged.  “Not much of a drinker.”

The brunette flagged down the bartender and ordered their drinks; a cosmo for herself, and Kara’s club soda.  “I’m Alicia,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.  “And you are?”

“Kara.”  They were talking.  Maybe flirting, even.  Kara wasn’t sure she had any interest, but it was good practice, she guessed.

“So, Kara, tell me.  Why are you so convinced you’ll be no fun?”  She leaned against the bar with a confidence that reminded Kara a little bit of Cat.

“Well, my sister and her girlfriend dragged me out.  I was depressed,” Kara answered frankly.

“Depressed.  Lovesick?”

“Yep.”

Alicia smiled sympathetically.  “Well, pretty girls’ll break your heart.”  The bartender brought their two drinks and Alicia handed Kara her club soda.  “Thanks, Rita,” she said, winking at the pretty, glammed-up Asian woman behind the bar.  “Put it on my tab, will you?”

Rita smiled and nodded, and walked away.

_ Her tab, _ Kara thought.   _ So she’s one of those power lesbians Maggie was talking about.   _

Alicia focused her attention solely on Kara, now.  “So, what.  A breakup?”

Kara shook her head.  “More like, one that got away.”  She tilted her head and thought for a moment.  “Well, two that got away, technically.”

Alicia’s eyebrows shot up, and she sipped at her cosmo before responding.  “Well, that sounds awfully contemporary.”

Kara laughed nervously.  “Oh, no, no.  It’s not like that.  I just...I was in love with someone for a long time, but she didn’t feel that way about me.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“She was my boss,” Kara tried to explain.

“So what?  If you were my employee I’d bend every rule in the book if I thought I had a chance at dating you.”  Alicia wasn’t playing around.  Kara didn’t know how she felt about it.

“Well, she didn’t.  She moved away, and it took me a long time to stop feeling… that way… and then I was falling for a friend, and I wanted to try being with her… but it slipped out of my hands.  I took too long to tell her how I felt, and now she’s dating someone.”

Alicia nodded.  “You snooze, you lose.”  She offered her glass out to Kara’s for a toast.  “Here’s to the lonely hearts.  Fresh out of a divorce, myself.”

“Oh!” Kara exclaimed.  “I’m sorry.  I guess I sound pretty ridiculous.”

Alicia shrugged.  “Not at all.  Love’s a bitch.”  She paused, and then:  “I’m not looking for anything from you,” she assured her.  “I just felt like buying a pretty girl a drink.  That’s all.”  

They toasted.  

“If you want my opinion, and I realize you probably don’t,” Alicia began thoughtfully, “I think you shouldn’t let the fact that your friend started dating someone stop you from telling her how you feel.  I mean... So what?  How long have you been friends?”

Kara shrugged.  “Almost two years.”

“How long has she been dating this person?”

“They just started a few weeks ago.”

Alicia snorted.  “That’s nothing.  I think you should make a play anyway.”

Kara smiled.  “I’ll think about it,” she promised.

They chatted for a few more minutes while they finished their drinks, watching the dance floor.  She pointed out Alex and Maggie, and then Vasquez, who was making her move with the redhead.  

“Your friend in the tux jacket is about to wreck herself,” Alicia said. “I know that redhead.  Maryann.  She’s bad news.  Drugs, DUIs, and drama as far as the eye can see.  I think you better go get her out of there before she gets herself in trouble.”

Kara gripped her arm and gave her a grateful smile.  “Thanks.”

Alicia winked.  “Good luck.”

Kara made her way across the floor to where Vasquez was close dancing with Maryann, trying to figure out a ploy to extricate her before she got too attached to the idea of that girl.  As she was about to reach them, Vasquez pulled a sweeping move, dramatically spinning Maryann out to one side, but also opening up Kara’s line of sight to the the row of tables that ringed the dance floor at ground level.

Her eyes settled on a couple at the table directly ahead of her.  A brunette, a blonde, holding hands across the table, giving each other silky looks and talking in soft tones.  She couldn’t process what she was seeing for several seconds.  How could this be happening?  How was this possible?  Why was she here?  Why were they here together?  How could they be sitting together, looking at each other that way?  Kara would admit she sometimes missed social cues but they were… they were there together.   _ Together _ .

“Cat?”  she breathed.  She almost didn’t hear the sound come out of her own mouth.

Cat looked up.  She registered more than a little surprise, seeing Kara standing in front of her.  “Kara?  What are you doing here?”

Lena turned around.  “Kara?”

“What… what are you… doing here?”

Cat sighed.  “I told you I was seeing someone, Kara.  This is who it is.  I trust you’ll keep it quiet.”  She and Lena then looked at each other.  Kara registered something like shock on Lena’s face.  “Lena, I didn’t realize you knew Sunny Danvers.”

Lena nodded slowly.  Her face… was Kara imagining it?  Did she look a little pale?  “Yes, we’re very good friends, actually.”

“I didn’t know this was your scene, Kara,”  Cat remarked.  How could she be cool at a time like this? Kara wondered.  Then she remembered,  _ No, I’m the one with the complicated feelings. _

“I’m… um…”  She struggled for a moment.  Damnit.  Why couldn’t she word when she was upset and confused?  “Here… with Alex.  And Maggie.  And Susan.... I’ve… gotta go…”  And it was inelegant but she didn’t know what else to say.  She ran for the exit.  

Alex touched her shoulder as she stalked past.  “You okay, sweetie?”

“I need some air,” she replied gruffly, and marched out the front door into the cool night.


	10. Lena – Part IV

Lena and Cat sat staring at each other across the small table.  Kara’s sudden entrance and equally sudden departure had thrown the mood off completely.  Lena felt like she’d been hit by a bus.  She’d always felt that Kara’s heart was pining after someone.  She’d never in a million years have guessed that it was Cat Grant.  

Cat, she could tell, was confused and didn’t like it one bit.  “Well, that was rather unceremonious,” she grumbled.

“It was you,” Lena whispered.  “It was always you.”  Cat was the reason why Lena couldn’t have Kara.  Irony didn’t really begin to cover the situation.

“What was always me?  Did you catch her brain fever?”

Lena shook her head.  “Cat… There are a lot of things I know about Kara and I don’t think it’s my place to tell you some of them, but … I always knew she was in love with someone else.  That’s why I never tried to get involved with her romantically, even though I was sure she felt something for me.  I mean, who wants to be someone’s backup plan?  But I never guessed that it was you.”

Cat stared at her.  Burning with confusion and indignation and hope and anger and … too much..  “What.  Do.  You.  Mean?”

Lena shook her head.  “It was you.  She was in love with you.  She still is, I think.”  She peered through the thicket of emotions that were jutting out of Cat in every direction.  She was beginning to dislike these visual manifestations of Cat’s feelings.  But  one thing was clear and bright.  “And you love her, too, don’t you.”

Cat’s hand trembled on the table.  She stared warily at Lena.  “How can you possibly know that?”

Lena shrugged.  “I just know it. I can feel it.  I could see it the minute you two looked at each other.  You put on your cool act but when you saw her in here, you immediately wondered whether you had missed your chance with her.”

Cat covered her mouth with her trembling hand.  She breathed for a moment.  “Lena… I could never have had something with her.  The power relationship would have been too complicated and I couldn’t live with myself if I–”

Lena shook her head, and put a hand on Cat’s arm.  “I don’t care about that.  I’m sure you both had a lot of good reasons for not doing it. But  I know you two are in love with each other.  And I’m… I’m not sure how good an idea it is for us to continue things now that you both know it.”

Cat gripped Lena’s hand where it rested on her arm.  “Lena, this is the first dating success I’ve had in a little while, you mean more to me than just…”

“Cat… it’s my first in a while, too.  But... that hot mess that just went running out the front door?  She’s both our problem.”  She stood up, suddenly full of purpose.  “I’m going to go talk to her.  And then we’ll… I don’t know.  We’ll figure it out.”

She strode out of the club and into the cool night.  She asked the bouncer if she’d noticed which way Kara went.  The bouncer pointed toward the piers, which were only a few short blocks away.  Lena took off her heels and jogged toward the water, not caring if she ruined her stockings.  She found Kara standing against a railing, staring out at the moon on the bay.

“Kara,” she called, and picked up her pace again.

Kara looked up.  She was near tears, Lena could see.  She got closer, and took Kara’s hand.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were dating Cat?” Kara asked.

“Kara… She’s very… discreet, so I wanted to respect her privacy.  I always knew you were in love with someone else.  But I didn’t know it was her.”

Kara frowned at her.  “What do you mean?”

“I could feel it.  I’ve wanted to be with you for a long time, but not if I was going to be something you were just settling for.  I could feel that you loved someone else.  I didn’t put together until just now that it was Cat.”

Kara pouted, and didn’t say anything for a moment.  Then she asked:  “You wanted to be with me?”

Lena nodded, laughing ironically.  “Of course, Kara!  You were always the brightest thing in my world, the only person I felt like I could let down my walls with.  Of course I wanted to be with you.  I just didn't want to get hurt.”

“So…”

“Kara, I know that the night I told you I was seeing someone, that you were going to tell me you had feelings for me.”   


“How could you know that?”  Kara asked, and the little crinkle formed between her eyebrows that she got when she was troubled.

“I know a lot of things,” Lena said softly.  “I felt it.  I felt how nervous you were when I arrived, and I felt how crushed you were when I told you I was seeing someone.”

Kara’s eyes glittered with unshed tears.  “Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“You decided not to tell me.  So, I didn’t want to embarrass you.  I didn’t want to make you feel worse.  I thought it was better to let you save face.”

Another long silence between them was filled with the distant sounds of Friday night revelers in the streets of National City’s gay district, and the lapping of gentle waves against the large wooden pilings of the docks.  Then Kara asked in a small voice, “What do you mean, you felt it?”

Lena squeezed her hand.  “I felt it.  I feel people’s feelings, sometimes hear their thoughts, if I let myself.  If I keep my walls down enough.”  She took Kara’s other hand, now.  “And I always keep my walls down with you, Kara.  Because I trust everything in your heart.”

Kara’s lip trembled.  “Then why are you dating Cat?”

“You know why,” Lena answered gently.  “And I think you of all people ought to understand being caught up in the heat of her charisma, right?”

Kara gave her a pained smile.  Lena could feel the tug of conflicting emotions like an undertow in Kara’s chest:  jealousy, of her, of Cat.  Loneliness.  Frustration.  Disappointment.  Hope.  Desire.  It threatened to become too much, so Lena put her arms around Kara’s waist and drew her close.  

“It wasn’t only about that for me, with her,” Kara answered in a quiet voice.  “You don’t know… what it is to have Cat truly care for you, to have her look out for you, have her… need you…”

“Kara,” she murmured in her ear, “I do love you, you know.”

Kara folded her arms around Lena in response, in a careful embrace.  “And what about Cat?”

“She’s not here right now.”

“But are you in love with her?”

Lena pressed her cheek against Kara’s.  “I haven’t known her long enough to know that.  I could see it happening, but it's too soon to say.”

Kara trembled a little in her arms.  “What happens now?”

“I don’t know,” Lena answered honestly.  “But, she feels the same way about you.   I think maybe you two have something to talk about.”

Kara pulled back and stared at her, confused.  “What?”

Lena nodded.  “The minute she saw you at Rubyfruit, it was like someone plugged her in.  She lit up.  I confronted her about it.  She admitted it.”

Kara’s eyes were squeezed shut, now.  “I… I can’t… I can’t handle this, Lena.  And what about you?  And you and me?  How am I supposed to talk to Cat?  What would I even be trying to accomplish?  She had every chance to start something with me, and she didn’t, and then you had every chance and you didn’t, and I feel like maybe I’m nice for women like you two to lust after or fantasize about, but when the rubber meets the road, I’m just not good enough to have anything real with –”

Lena didn’t know what else to do to keep Kara from spinning out into a meltdown, so she put her hands on Kara’s face, and kissed her on the mouth, firmly, and with conviction.  Kara froze for a moment, then relaxed into Lena’s kiss, and responded.  She pressed into it with surprising roughness, and Lena swooned at it, at being there, in the moonlight, by the water, with her arms around Kara and her lips parting against Kara’s raw, insistent kiss. Any harder and it would have bruised her lips; it made her knees wonderfully weak.  “I’ve wanted that for a long time,” she mumbled when they stopped after a few moments.

Kara took a deep breath and steadied herself against Lena’s body.  “Me too,” she sighed.  She kissed Lena again, softer this time.  She had calmed herself a little.  Lena knew that kissing her had been, in that moment, the right choice.  She had no idea what it meant in the longer term, but she wasn’t really sure it was wise to think about that now.

Lena stroked Kara’s cheek and felt how grateful she was for the reassurance of that touch.  So she continued doing it for a minute more.  “Kara, I love you.  I want you happy.  If I have to get out of the way for you and Cat to--”

“But I don’t want you out of the way!” Kara burst out.

“Well, we’ll have to talk with Cat about it, I guess.”

“Talk with me about what?” 

They looked over at Cat, who was striding toward them at a clip that ought to have been impossible for a woman her height.  

“About this… this whole mess,” Lena answered.  She felt Kara start to pull away from her, but she tightened her grasp.  She didn’t want to go into this with anyone having misconceptions about anyone else’s feelings.

Cat looked back and forth between them for several moments.  She whipped out her phone and hit a button on it.  “Seamus?  I’m around the corner at the piers.  Pier 17.”  A moment later, Cat’s driver pulled up by the nearby curb.  “Alright, you two.  My place.  Let’s go.”

Lena smiled to herself as she saw Kara texting Alex:   _ I ran into Cat and Lena.  They’re together.  I’m leaving with them.  _

And a moment later, saw Alex’s reply:   _?????????? _

Well, Lena thought, this would be nothing if not interesting.


	11. Cat – Part IV

They sat, quiet, on the ride back to Cat’s place.  They listened to the low purr of the motor, sitting in an awkward, well-dressed line:  Lena, Kara, Cat.  

Cat spoke first.  “I didn’t realize that Lena was anything more than a source for you.”

Kara sat for a long moment.  “That’s how you want to start this conversation?”

Cat didn’t know how to answer.  She didn’t know what she was supposed to do now.  Lena was right; this situation involved the three of them and so they’d have to work it out together.  Didn’t change the fact that she felt woefully out of her depth.  Rosensweig was right, dealing with the feelings of two women at once  _ was _ seeming a little advanced for her at the moment.

Lena spoke next.  “Cat, you and Kara love each other.  What you and I have is new and exciting, but your feelings for each other are built on something quite different, aren’t they.”

Cat looked at her, then at Kara.  How could she explain?  How could she explain the years of relying on Kara, basking in her attention, the reassurance of knowing she was there and knew what she needed?  How could she express what it meant to her, guiding her, seeing her incredible potential, watching her grow and become?  How could she put into words what she felt, looking at Kara as she was now, shaking off some of that awkwardness and owning some of her power? “I suppose so.”

Lena sighed.  “Alright, look.  I think that we all have some confessions to make here, especially between the two of you.  Nevertheless, I’ll start.”  She took a breath.  “When I was a teenager, an accident in my brother’s lab left me with powers.  I can sense people’s emotions, even sometimes hear, or in your case, Cat, see their thoughts.  What that means is, I know a lot of things about you both, things that you probably assume I don’t know.”  She looked at Cat.  “I know you have doubts about my motivations for dating you, Cat.  And I know that you love Kara, deeply.  And Kara… it means… that I know something else about you.  Something that it’s really not my place to share.  I’ve known since the beginning, pretty much.”

Cat took a moment to process that.  It all made sense, of course.  Why Lena was so intuitive in bed and seemed to pick up on exactly what she wanted and needed from one moment to the next.  Cat wasn’t sure how she felt about being with someone who she couldn’t hide her fears and insecurities from.  Rosensweig would say it was a good thing, probably, but Cat rather liked her armor.  In fact, the only person who had ever managed to get past it was… well, Kara.  

Kara was looking back and forth between the two of them.  Finally, staring at the floor, she admitted, “So, yeah, Cat.  You were right.  About me.  I … I am Supergirl.”

Cat absorbed that for a moment.  She’d known of course, but some part of her let herself play along with the idea that maybe, just maybe she somehow wasn’t.  All she could think of to do was punch Kara in the shoulder, hurting her hand.  It was like punching a frozen pot roast.  She nursed her injured fist and shouted, “You’ve been using yourself as a source!  What the hell do you think you’re doing, Kara?!”

Kara frowned.  “Cat, I don’t know if you’re … um, processing this correctly.”

Cat knew she wasn’t.  She knew that being angry because Kara had been using herself as a source ought to be the last thing on her mind right now.  But she couldn’t help herself.  “Are you even serious about journalism?  Or are you just using it as a vehicle to make Supergirl look good?”

Kara looked hurt.  She tried to move herself away from Cat.  

“If you’re angry about me lying,” she responded in a small but fierce voice, “maybe you could tell me why you lied to me and yourself about not loving me for all these years.”

Cat saw Lena’s eyes close, whether in pain or exasperation or what, she couldn’t tell.

“Cat,” Lena sighed.  “There's a lot of complications about this, but I think she needs to hear you admit what you feel.”

Cat felt her lip tremble.  She frowned, and stared accusingly at Lena.  “What are trying to do?”

She heard Kara scoff quietly next to her.  “Wow, Cat.  I mean, I suck at this, too, but you’re really bad at it.”

Cat stared for a moment in shock at Kara’s frankness.  She grabbed Kara’s hand. “Kara,” she said, almost angry, a sudden rush of hot, sticky emotion filling up her chest.  “How many times have I told you that you were beautiful and amazing and extraordinary?  I don’t think I could have worn my heart more out on my sleeve if I were trying.”

Kara gripped her hand back.  “How could you not see that I felt the same way?”

Almost as if she was watching through someone else’s eyes, Cat felt her free hand cup Kara’s face.  Her skin was warm, soft, exactly as she’d imagined in her weaker moments.  “Kara, so many times, I thought maybe you did,” she whispered.  “I didn’t want to be right about that.”

“Kara,” Lena murmured, “she was afraid of ruining what was beautiful about your relationship, just like you waited so long with me because you were afraid of the same thing.”  She placed a hand on Kara’s shoulder.

_ What the fuck? _ Cat wondered.  Having Lena beside them while this was going on was like having a translator.  “But I always loved you.  And the more I saw you… the more I see you now… the truer that gets. It’s only grown with time, it hasn’t diminished.”

Tears were slowly pouring from the corners of Kara’s eyes.  Cat’s heart ached in her chest.  “Cat…” she sniffled.  “I just wish I would have known.”

Cat smiled sadly.  “Darling, we couldn’t have been together, then.  You were my assistant.  There would have been everything in the world wrong with that.”

“I’m not your assistant anymore,” Kara ventured.  “And Lena’s right, I still love you.”

Cat had the passing thought that it was more than a little weird to be having this conversation not just in front of Lena, who was ostensibly her new girlfriend, but actually aided and abetted by her.  It then occurred to her that it was also probably weird that she was moved to grip Kara’s chin and lean into her and kiss her, softly, with Lena sitting right next to them.  But that was exactly what she did.

Kara’s lips were so soft.  They were so inviting, so pure, and they tasted like cherry lip gloss, the one nod to her frivolous youth that it seemed she had still hung onto.  It lasted a scant few seconds, but Cat’s heart caved in and sent a tremor all the way down into her belly.  Everything she’d pent up for years was suddenly banging at her insides, wanting to get out.

Cat shook her head and pulled back, and glanced over at Lena, who was watching them with glossy eyes and a look full of emotion that Cat wasn’t quite sure how to categorize.  “I’m sorry,” she said.  “I… wasn’t prepared for any of this.”

Lena bit her lip, looking at once ironical and sad.  “Neither were any of us.  But we’re in it, now.”

Cat looked at Kara, who was staring into her lap, looking shaken and confused.  “Kara? Are you alright?”

Kara shrugged.

“She’s scared,” Lena supplied.  She gently began rubbing Kara’s back.  “Don’t worry, Kara.  We’re going to figure this out.”

They rolled to a stop in front of Cat’s building.  “Well,” she said with a dramatic sigh.  “Let’s all retire upstairs.  I know at least one of us could use a good, stiff drink or four.”

  
  


******

 

They repaired to the living room.  

“Where’s Carter?” Kara asked.

Cat shrugged.  “It’s Anthony’s birthday.  He’s supposed to be sleeping over his house.”

Kara almost seemed disappointed.  Cat knew Kara and her son were fond of each other.  They related on some level.  Kara had, a long while ago, gently suggested that Carter might be nibbling around the edges of the autism spectrum, and Cat hadn’t really wanted to hear that at the time, but regardless of the reasons why, Kara and Carter actually communicated extremely well.  They always had.

Kara was resting her head against Lena’s shoulder and they were murmuring quietly to each other on the couch.  Cat felt a pang of envy but she wasn’t even sure why.  Near as she could tell, their conversation mostly consisted of Lena assuring Kara that she was loved and that everything was going to be alright.  She mixed a strong martini for herself and a gin and tonic for Lena, and then got Kara a club soda from the fridge under the bar.  

They sat together on the couch.  Lena and Kara both looked about as emotionally fatigued as Cat felt, and they hadn’t even really begun weeding through all this in earnest.  

“I think,” Lena began slowly, “that you and Kara have something strong and deep, that predates me, and that as much as it hurts me to think it, I should back off.”

“But I don’t want you to,” Kara protested weakly.

“Then where does that leave us?” Cat asked.  She didn't know whether she wanted Lena to back off either.

“I don’t know,” Kara sighed.  “I just know that I love both of you and … and that’s it.  I love both of you.”  She reached her hands out toward Cat, and Cat took them, and squeezed them tightly.  

Kara squeezed back, and Cat felt as if the bones in her hands were about to break.  She winced.  “Too tight.”

“Sorry,” Kara whispered, and loosened her grip.

Cat was overwhelmed with the need to kiss her again.  She leaned in, not caring that Kara was being held and supported by Lena, and covered Kara's mouth with her own.  Kara’s mouth came alive, and her lips parted.  She felt the tentative movement of Kara’s soft tongue, whispering, lighter than a breeze.  She felt the low, hot thump of desire in her blood.  She opened her eyes to see that Lena was placing soft, careful kisses along Kara’s temple, cheek and jaw, in a not entirely chaste way.  

Cat panicked.  Was this really going where it looked like it was going?  Was this who she was?  Some sort of awful, predatory middle-aged bisexual taking advantage of women half her age and seducing them into threesomes?

She saw Lena look up at her with a twinkle in her eye, and remembered,  _ Fuck.  She probably heard that thought.   _ “Don’t fucking look at me like that,” she snapped.  

“Kara and I are both here because we want to be,” Lena assured her with an amused smile.  She reached over Kara’s shoulder to brush a lock of hair off Cat’s forehead.  “Cat, I think, as much as I enjoy being with you both, that … you and Kara realized something important tonight, and I think I should give you a little time to yourselves.”

Kara grabbed Lena’s hand.  “Nooooo,” she protested.  “Don’t go.  I realized something important about us, too, you know.”

“Kara,” Lena answered, a gentle, bittersweet smile playing on her lips, “you know I’m right.”

Kara opened her eyes and looked at Cat, and then twisted her head to look in Lena’s direction.  “But we wouldn’t even be having this moment right now if it wasn’t for you.  We’d both still be...”  She floundered.  “...not having this.”

Cat hesitated.  “Kara…”

“Well,”  Kara said after a minute, “maybe, Cat, you and I can just go in another room.  Don’t go, Lena.  I want you to stay.”  She looked at Cat, and her eyes were that blue that looked like the night sky was caught in her irises.  Kara could ask for anything when she looked at her like that, and Cat would say yes.  “Cat, can we do that?  Maybe she’s right, and we need to be alone with each other, but I don’t want her to go.”

Cat surrendered.  She didn’t know how this night was going to turn out, but she was going to follow it down to its end, no matter how bitter or sweet.


	12. Kara - Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold onto your hats, kids. ;)

Cat expressed discomfort at simply leaving Lena out in the living room to absorb the stray emotions that would inevitably result from the conversation she and Kara were about to have, but Lena was firm in her insistence that she’d like to stay, that she knew how to manage whatever might come her way, and that quite honestly, she could really actually use a drink of water and a nap.

So now, some time later, Kara lay back against Cat, who was reclined on several pillows on her large, soft bed.  They were still in their evening dresses, curled up and talking, as they'd been for what felt like at least an hour.  They were confessing all the times they'd almost kissed each other, all the times they'd almost told each other how they felt.  They'd been alternately laughing and crying and shaking their heads in disbelief as they unspooled the thread of their relationship and saw for themselves how deeply they were knit together.   “Hold me tighter,” Kara said.  “As tight as you can stand to do it.”

She felt Cat’s arms squeeze around her.  She felt the pressure in the fibers of her muscles.  It was good.  It was relief.  It was deep, deep touch, the kind she liked.  “Mm. Thank you,” she whispered.  She nestled her head back against Cat’s chest.

Cat kissed the top of her head.  

“When did you know you loved me?  Was it after Supergirl?”

Cat relaxed her hold for a moment, shifted a little, and then squeezed her again.  “No, it was before.  You’d been with me for about eight or nine months, I think.  If I thought hard about it, I’m sure there was a little trail of moments leading up to it, because there always is, but I just remember you standing up to me about a story I was going to run, and… you lifted your chin, and squared your shoulders, and you had this determined look in your eyes, and it hit me all at once.  I saw the woman you were going to become, that you already were, in some ways.  And I realized –with no small degree of horror, I might add– that I felt something for you that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I was falling in love with you.”

Kara chuckled noiselessly.  “No small degree of horror?”

“Of course.  In love with my assistant? How cliche.  How dreadful.  What on earth was I supposed to do about it?  I was mentoring you.  How could I possibly think it was appropriate to pursue you as my lover?”  Cat’s voice was bemused, exhausted, self-mocking, and something else.  So soft.  So full of tenderness in a way that she’d not heard before.  “It was part of why I was so tough on you, I think.  Because I didn’t want to be too soft on you just because I had these feelings.”

Kara smiled, and covered Cat’s hands with her own.  “You know, I didn’t realize I loved you until later.  That time I yelled at you, and instead of firing me, you took me out for drinks.”  Cat was so soft.  It was intoxicating to be this close to her, just luxuriating in her closeness.  Being held by her was a privilege Kara never thought she’d have.  “You drank a lot.  And you leaned really close to me, and I had this… this panicked moment..”  Kara laughed.  “I thought you were going to kiss me.  And… I realized I kind of wanted you to.  That was… really confusing.”

She felt Cat shake with laughter.  Kara laughed too.  The inarticulate panic of the car ride was subsiding, and giving way to her beginning to relax and be able to talk again.  

“Confusing, why?  Because I was a girl?  Or your boss?”

Kara sighed.  “No… I mean.... Human labels apply to me, but sometimes they don’t, you know?”

Cat paused.  “No, I’m not sure I do.”

Kara took Cat’s hand and brought it up to her lips and kissed it.  A little pop of fireworks went off in her chest.  “I mean… humans look at a collection of criteria, and they have a name for it.  Autism wasn’t a thing on Krypton, but when I got here, Eliza and Jeremiah pushed to get me that diagnosis so I could get the therapy that would help me, even if that diagnosis didn’t tell the whole story.  And falling in love with women, that wasn’t a thing on Krypton either.  We just didn’t distinguish relationships that way.  So you could say I’m bisexual or whatever, and it’s technically accurate in human speak, but it doesn’t tell my story.”

Cat made a little noise, considering what Kara had said.  

“Anyway, it wasn't that you were a woman, it just confused me that I could feel this way about you when you were so tough on me.  But I actually…. wanted to please you.  It was the moment when I recognized that the way you were toward me was a kind of caring, and… it made me care, too.  I started wanting to take care of you and get everything right not because I was afraid of you yelling at me or firing me, but because I cared for you.  Because I loved you.”  She shifted, and turned around so that she could face Cat.  “How could I not, when you burn so bright?”

“When I what?”

Kara kissed her chin.  “You know.  From Romeo and Juliet.  She doth teach the torches to burn bright…”

Cat scoffed.  “I know it.  ‘It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night / Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear / Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear.’”  Cat kissed Kara’s forehead.  “Sounds more like you.”

“You don’t see yourself.”  Kara tucked a strand of Cat’s blonde hair behind an ear.

“I see myself all the time,” Cat retorted.  “Clinging stubbornly to my desirability.”

Kara smiled and kissed her mouth, softly and carefully.  “You don’t need to cling.  You have two of us, literally right now, in this house, who agree that you’re incredible, Cat.”

“Mm,” Cat responded, unconvinced.  

Kara kissed her again.  She was determined to make her point.  “Cat, it wasn’t that I ever thought I had a chance with you.  I just… you were an impossible standard for anyone to measure up to.  James… he’s a good guy, but he’s not you.  I thought maybe dating Adam might….”  She broke off, realizing that maybe it was inappropriate to remind Cat of the minor car wreck that had been her attempt to date Cat’s son.  “...be the closest I could get to being with you… but it was worse, somehow.”

“Somehow,” Cat snorted.

Kara frowned.  “Lena was the first person who even began to make me think I could have something with someone anywhere near as good as you.”

Cat looked a little sad at that.  “So, you do love her, then.”

Kara nodded.  “Yeah.  She’s a lot like you in ways, but then… in others, not.  But… she’s been there for me so many times, and taken care of me, and tried to protect me, just like you.  You know, protect me in… in the ways I can’t do for myself.”  She smiled a little, then.  “And she needs so much love, just the way you do.”

She couldn’t stand the wistful look on Cat’s face, so she kissed her again, so lightly, so carefully, imagining her lips and tongue as a butterfly coming to rest on Cat’s mouth.

Cat looked at her after that brief, tender kiss.  “You’re so gentle.”

Kara’s fingers trailed over Cat’s cheekbones.  She thought of all the times over all the years when she wanted to touch her exactly this way.  She touched her neck and shoulders, saying nothing for a moment.  “I have to be, Cat.  I can’t … I don’t feel things the same way you do.  I have to be really, really gentle, because it’s the only way I know I’m not being too rough.”  She looked regretful for a moment.  “Lena kissed me before, at the piers, when I was getting upset.  I’m afraid I was maybe too rough when I kissed back.”

“You aren’t now, though.”  Cat pulled her in for another, deeper kiss.

Kara shifted herself up the bed, hiking up her skirt, and straddled Cat’s lap, and then leaned down to kiss her some more.  Their dresses were getting rumpled but they didn't much care at the moment.

“God.  Look at you,” Cat whispered, and slid her hands up Kara’s thighs.  Her eyes took in all of Kara, loving and slow as her gaze traveled from her face down to her thighs and back.

And Kara felt her, but didn’t.  “Squeeze, please,” she whispered.  Cat obliged, digging fingers into Kara’s thighs.  “Can you do it harder?”  She felt Cat increase the pressure, and when she glanced down, she saw her fingertips turning white.  

“That’s really not too hard?” Cat wondered.

Kara shook her head. “I told you, it’s just different for me.”  She leaned down and nuzzled Cat’s cheek and the side of her neck.  She lowered herself gently down on top of Cat’s body, careful to support her weight on her elbows.  “But I’m so glad I get to be this close to you, after all this time.”

She heard Cat give out a deep sigh, murmured her name.  “God, Kara…”  She was so soft underneath her, her body felt so delicate, the way human bodies did, and Kara felt ecstatic at being able to feel her like this, to know the fragile and beautiful substance of Cat's body as she moved carefully on top of it.

She felt Cat’s hips move against her, knew that her body was reaching out.  She reached down with fumbling hands and pushed the hem of Cat’s dress further up, and maneuvered her thigh in between Cat’s.  She could feel Cat, warm and wet through the silk underwear she wore.  They never bothered to pull their pretty dresses off.  They lay there in Cat’s bed, pushing their bodies together with the deep, slow movements of two people who had ached after each other for years.  Kara felt a thrill in her belly, a faint gentle warmth between her legs, and she knew that she wasn’t going to get what Cat was getting, but it was still so beautiful to feel her, feel her trust, her desire.  The closeness, the scent of Cat’s arousal, the soft, feather-light kisses, the rhythm of their hips moving together, as she pressed her firm thigh against Cat’s sex and watched her take so much pleasure from it.  “Cat… I love you,” Kara breathed heavily, exultant at the bliss on Cat’s face as she ground herself against her.

“Oh God, I fucking love you, Kara,” Cat cried when she came, and Kara felt delirious to see her go to pieces, feel her tremble underneath her, looking sweetly abandoned to the moment with her hair a mess and the shiny black party dress askew and giving up a tantalizing half-view of her small, delicious breasts.

Cat kissed her, smiling almost drunkenly, and ran fingers through her hair.  After her breathing steadied, she whispered, “Will you lie down, darling?  Can I please touch you?”

Kara sighed.  “You can try, but… I …”  This was always the part of sex that she hated, where she had to explain that she didn’t feel things the same way as other people.  “My lack of touch sensitivity has always been a problem.  It… it doesn’t mean I don’t like the intimacy, I just can’t… I can’t have it the way you can.  I never could.”

“The downside of being super, hm?” Cat teased mildly.

Kara gave her a sheepish smile.  “Something like that.”

Cat stroked her hair.  “Then just let me… give you what I  _ can _ give you.  I’ve wanted you for too long.”

A soft knock came at the door.  

“Lena?” Kara called.

“Yes.”  There was a long pause, and then her voice came muffled through the door.  “I… I’ll understand if you just want to have your private time together, but… I just… I think I can help.”

“What do you mean, help?” Cat called.

“I mean…”  There was another pause.  “I can feel how hard this part of things is for you, Kara, the receiving of touch... and I might be able to help.  I don’t even have to come in there if you don’t want me to, although it would make it easier.  But… it would involve me really getting into your head, Kara, and I would never do that without your knowledge and permission.”

Kara looked at Cat.  Her heart was leaping out of her chest.  After so many failed attempts, to be able to have sex with someone, with Cat no less, and have it feel like something, was too tantalizing.  She gave Cat a pleading look.  

Cat sighed and nodded.  “Alright, Lena,” Cat called.  “Come in.”


	13. Lena – Part V

Lena had been lying on the couch, trying to recover from her exhausting evening.  In truth, she was glad that Cat and Kara were having some time by themselves, so that she could take a break from the bombardment of emotions and replenish herself.  She put her walls back up, drank some water, and lay for a while with her eyes closed, resting, breathing and centering herself.

After a while though, she felt the emotions coming from the bedroom down the hall, brushing against the edge of her awareness.  They must have been strong, for her to feel them so clearly even with her resistance engaged.  Cat and Kara had gotten past something, and were simply letting themselves have these moments to enjoy loving each other freely and without apology.  She felt the distinct joy that only a long-awaited emotional release could bring.  She felt their desires growing, and felt them taking pleasure in each other.  She could hear the occasional soft moan or sigh through the wall, and she lay back and let herself receive the pleasure they were sharing.  It wasn’t quite the same as having sex herself, but it was sensual in its own way.  Their feelings were so strong, she couldn’t keep them out, so she figured she may as well relax into their pleasing warmth.

And then she felt Kara’s anxiety.  And it came to her why.  She’d long been aware of Kara’s curious sensory issues, and she had guessed that they were probably related to her powers, but didn’t think much deeper into it than that.  But now, she realized, she and Cat were being intimate and Kara was struggling with those things.  Lena wasn’t entirely sure she could do anything, but if there was anyone’s mind that she felt comfortable enough to go crawling around in, it was Kara’s.

She entered the bedroom, and found them on the bed together, tangled in each other’s arms, still in their evening wear.  She smiled.  “Couldn’t even manage to get undressed, hm?”

Cat made a face at her.  Kara smiled back.  They disentangled themselves a little and Kara sat up on the bed next to Cat, one of the big, soft pillows in her lap.  Lena came over and sat on the edge of the bed.

“So,” Kara began eagerly, mashing the pillow underneath her hands, “what’s the idea, here?”

Lena looked at her, and then back at Cat, who was clearly uneasy at the speed with which this whole thing was hurtling into uncharted territory for her.  “I can sometimes,  _ sometimes _ , get enough into someone’s mind, if they’re willing to let me, that I can …”  She paused, trying to figure out how to explain so that it didn’t sound sinister.  “...I can affect things, a little.”

Kara tilted her head and peered at her.  “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she went on, “I can pull back a curtain a little, I can lift a veil, I can make a connection.  I can’t make any permanent changes, but I can… nudge things, in a temporary way, or be a… sort of a conduit to help a thought or impulse get from one part of your brain to another.”

Cat put a hand on Kara’s shoulder.  “We’re not talking about you taking control of her mind, are we?” she demanded.

Lena shook her head.  She was mindful of Cat’s suspicion and protective impulses toward Kara.  She would probably be the same way in Cat’s position.  “I can’t make her have emotions she doesn’t, I can’t control her body to do anything she wouldn’t want to do.  I’m mostly a passive reader, but if I can push in, and if the person is willing to have me, I can...  _ sometimes… _ help them see or feel things that they have trouble with.”

“That would make you an amazing therapist,” Cat remarked.

“I couldn’t do it all day long,” Lena replied.  “It’s really exhausting.  I would only do this for someone I cared for tremendously.”

Cat squeezed Kara’s shoulder.  “Do you trust her inside your mind?”

Kara looked at Cat and smiled a gentle smile.  “Yeah, Cat.  It’s okay.  I know you don’t know her that well yet, but I do, and I trust her.”

Cat frowned a little, but acquiesced to Kara’s wishes.  “Alright, so.  How will this work?”

Lena looked at them, and smiled.  “Well, we might as well get out of our clothes.  It’ll help.”

“How convenient,” Cat remarked.

Lena chuckled.  “Cat, I think we’re well past the need for me to make excuses to be naked with either one of you.”  

Cat shrugged a noncommittal assent.  Lena peeled out of her dress and watched Kara and Cat slip out of theirs.  She slid into the bed next to Kara.  “Alright,” she began softly, making sure to address them both.  “This works best if we have as much skin contact as possible, Kara, so I’m going to be holding you close.  I want you to try and keep your thoughts relaxed, as best you can.  I know you can sometimes hyperfocus on things, I want you to do your best not to do that, at least not until I’m in and we’re comfortable.”

Kara nodded.  Lena looked at her blue eyes, wide open and trusting her.  If it didn’t work, it wouldn’t be because Kara didn’t want to let her in.  

Lena looked at Cat.  “Cat, this is going to take a lot of focus on my part.  You can touch her, but at first it’s going to need to be very careful and gentle.  If I verbally ask you to do something, or not do something, please listen and do as I ask, because this is a delicate process and we don’t want to overwhelm her senses.  I don’t want to have to ask more than once.”

Cat’s anxiousness was skittering all over Lena’s skin and she sighed, and added, “And please try to relax a little.  It’s very difficult for me to leave myself as open as I’ll need to be to do this, and I need you to quell some of that nervous energy because I’m very sensitive to it.”

Cat nodded and said nothing more.  They arranged themselves, Kara on her back, Lena lying on right, Cat on her left.  Lena pressed herself against the length of Kara’s body, and placed an arm over her waist.  She settled her head in the curve of Kara’s neck.  

“Okay, Kara.  Close your eyes, and relax, and try to let your mind drift a little.”

Kara obediently closed her eyes.  Lena closed hers, and concentrated on the wellspring of Kara’s feelings; the hope, the desire, the longing, her willingness to give her body and mind to the two of them.  Lena extended her mind until she pressed against the iridescent bubble of Kara’s, pressing gently until she felt herself pop through to the other side.  

She’d only done this a few times.  It was different from simply feeling someone’s thoughts and feelings. It was literally inhabiting them, touching the substance of them, tracing their electrical impulses and chemical releases as if with one’s own fingers.  It wasn’t the literal way that any of this worked of course, but the mind had a funny way of manifesting things so that one could understand them.

She knew Kara’s mind would be beautiful, but what unfurled behind Lena’s closed eyes was so breathtaking, Lena couldn’t help whispering, “Oh my God.”  Lena manifested it visually as a great, dark vault, studded with thousands of tiny lights, a space criss-crossed with crystalline structures of thought, edged by a deep black ocean that rumbled forbidding notes across the expanse.  It was shot through with veils of cloud, streaks of pale mist sticking like cotton candy to her thoughts.  Lena followed the path of the structures.  “Cat,” she said quietly, “can you please kiss her?  Be as gentle as possible, please.”  She needed to see where the touch signals came from and where they went… or stopped, as the case might be.

A moment later, she saw the light trails flare along the vaults of Kara’s thought, and Lena followed with her mind, to the source of Kara’s senses.  She felt Kara’s joy at being kissed.

“Continue, please.”

She watched the impulses, Kara’s responses to Cat’s kisses, in shades of white and blue and gold, glitter along the crystal ladders of Kara’s nerves.  She took several moments to differentiate between the emotional and physical impulses, but then she found the one she wanted, the beautiful, thick strand that disappeared into a heavy cloud.  

“Kara, do you feel me?”

“Uh-huh,” Kara sighed.

“Good.  I’m going to do something now, alright?  I’m not going to do anything without telling you first.”

“Okay,” Kara sighed.

“Alright.  I’m going to try to move something aside, to let things pass through.  Cat, I want you to try some touching, but be very gentle and light.”`

She heard Cat make a sound of acknowledgement.

She pushed at the thick, nebulous cloud with her thoughts, until a little of it moved aside.  She could tell when Cat’s first touch happened, because the light came flooding through.  And she she heard Kara gasp, and she felt a shudder of delight.  

“Oh…” Kara sighed.

“Is it too much?” Lena asked.  

“No,” she replied breathlessly, “but I don’t know if I can take more.”

“Alright,” Lena replied, and she focused on holding her thoughts exactly as they were.  “Cat, you can do whatever you want now, but again, I’d advise going slowly and taking it very easy.  She’s never felt things this way before.”

And she held on, with both her body and her mind, and watched in the sparkling dark of Kara’s mind as Cat kissed her with gentle lips, moved soft fingertips over her skin.  Kara was gasping and moaning and rising up into Cat’s touch.  “Oh… Cat… oh… Lena.... this is…”

“Ssh,” Lena heard Cat whisper.  She enjoyed the shocks of raw pleasure that Cat was creating along Kara’s skin, the sweet ache of Cat’s fingers trailing over Kara’s newly sensitive breasts and stiff nipples.  She enjoyed feeling something different in Cat’s touch, feeling it through Kara’s body.  And the sweet murmur of Kara’s thoughts in response to it all, the  _ yes, yes, yes, yes, thank you, yes. _

“Lena,” Cat whispered after several minutes of careful stroking and building Kara’s arousal, bit by gentle bit, “will it hurt her if I try to get her off?”

“I don’t think so,” Lena whispered back, “but as always, start gentle and only increase the intensity if it’s needed.”

Lena saw light pour across the arches of Kara's mind, bright enough to all but wipe away those millions of pinprick stars of thought, and she knew from Kara’s thoughts and feelings that Cat had settled her hand lightly between Kara’s legs and was stroking her in slow, soft circles.  Kara was only able to make wordless cries now.  Her pleasure was intense, it seared in Lena’s mind like burning sugar, and she held on as Cat made love to Kara with careful, tender touches.  She felt Kara’s pleasure growing, building, felt the imprint of Cat’s soft kisses against Kara’s face and neck and shoulders.  She felt Cat’s passion, the strength of her love for Kara, pouring over her, warm and utterly benevolent, a spirit of wanting to give, and give, and give.

“I’m…”  Kara panted. “I’m close to…”

And then Lena was blinded, and she had to open her eyes as she was dumped from inside Kara’s mind.  She held Kara’s convulsing body as she came, and the waves of Kara’s orgasm washed over Lena, warm and sweet.  Cat held her from the other side, keeping her hand where it was and letting Kara finish on her own.  She saw Cat’s golden hair fanned crazily across Kara’s chest, heard her sighing with such feeling, “Oh, my darling, oh my beautiful darling…”

Her head was ringing, and she was spent, but she was ecstatic.  She’d been touched by someone else’s sexual pleasure before, of course, many times.  But she’d never been inside someone’s mind for it, much less for someone’s sexual awakening, as this was for Kara.  She was shaken by the intensity of it.  She stared through her blurry vision at Kara, who was lying between her and Cat, her face full of bliss, trying to steady her breathing.  She realized that Kara had tears staining her cheeks, and then, a moment later, that her own cheeks were wet, too.  

She looked up and met Cat’s eyes.  They, too were, glassy and full of emotion.  She was overwhelmed, clearly, Lena could feel it.  Lena felt her gratitude, too.  The realization was slowly dawning on Cat that Lena only wanted to help, that she loved Kara in a way that didn’t compete with Cat’s own feelings, but rather complemented them.  Cat reached across over Kara’s prone body, and gripped Lena’s shoulder.  She gave it a meaningful squeeze, but couldn’t manage any words.  It was alright.  Lena could feel what she intended by it.

Kara lifted her head, and draw Cat’s face close to hers, and kissed her.  And then she turned to Lena, and did the same, and whispered, “Thank you.  Both of you.  That’s never been possible for me before.”

Lena and Cat stroked Kara’s hair and face for a few moments, before both curling up next to the warmth of her skin, draping their arms and legs over her, and falling into an exhausted sleep.  As Lena was drifting into unconsciousness, she dimly heard Kara murmur to Cat, “Cat, we need to do that for Lena, too…”

And she heard Cat murmur back, “Alright, darling, but I think right now we all just need to rest…”

And then the world, mercifully, went dark.


	14. Cat – Part V

Cat woke up in the middle of the night.  She’d always wondered whether Supergirl slept, and now she knew.  Kara lay on her back in between her and Lena, her mouth hanging slack.  They must have really exhausted her, she thought with amazement.

The city was quiet outside.  She lay in the stillness, eyes half open, trying to make sense of what had happened.  She’d been in the midst of the early, exciting blush of a new romance, and had it suddenly been derailed.  She looked at them both, angelic in their sleep, so beautiful.  She knew that if she had to choose, she would choose Kara.  But looking at them both, she wasn’t sure she wanted to choose.  She knew Kara sure didn’t.

Lena was still slightly opaque to her; Cat didn’t know what she really wanted, if she was offering to get out of the way because she wasn’t interested, or if she was using it as a gambit to get Kara to be the one to ask her to stay.  But Kara trusted Lena inside her mind, that most private of sanctuaries, and that had to be worth something, she supposed.  Cat didn’t know that she’d ever trust someone with that.  It was bad enough that Lena could pick up the stray detritus of her thoughts and feelings.  

Still, that gift of hers made it possible for her to make Kara feel the things she wanted to feel when they made love, and that was… a daunting debt to owe someone.

Kara stirred next to her, and Lena stirred in response, burrowing her face against Kara’s chest.  She watched Kara’s hand come up to stroke Lena’s cheek, her eyes still closed and a dreamy smile on her lips.  

She watched Lena slowly half-wake, and saw a soft smile light her face as she realized she was lying naked next to Kara.  It was, she thought, a beautiful smile, the smile of someone in love.  She watched them slowly shift against one another, sighing, inching into wakefulness.  Lena’s eyes, beneath heavy lids, met Cat’s, with a question in them:   _ Is this alright?  _  Cat nodded once, and lay, watching intently.  And then Lena and Kara, still half-asleep, began kissing, softly at first, but then, after a few moments, she saw Lena’s intensity tick upwards.  Kara still held back, trying to be soft with her, but Lena murmured, “Don’t be so shy… kiss me like you did before, on the piers.”

“Didn’t that hurt?” Kara mumbled back.

Lena bit Kara’s lip.  “Yes.  But I want that.”

Cat lifted an eyebrow.  Lena hadn’t expressed that part of herself the one time they’d been together.  

So Kara let go.  Cat watched them grow passionate by turns, and then soft, and then passionate again.  Kara shifted on top of Lena and Cat watched her hands roaming and grasping hungrily at Lena’s body, felt a tiny surge of alarm as she saw Kara’s fingers leaving bright pink marks on Lena’s pale skin, marks that Cat knew were going to turn purple.

Lena, not looking at her and not opening her eyes, sighed, “It’s alright, Cat.  Don’t worry.  I like it this way.”

And so, Cat lay on her side, propped on one elbow, watching them light into each other; Lena raked her nails up and down Kara’s back, Kara kissed rough, electric kisses from her lips down to the base of her neck and back up.  Lena’s throat gave out the most exquisite moans when Kara would bite her someplace tender.  They were intensely beautiful together, Cat thought.

And they were in her bed.   _ Her _ bed.   _ How?? _ she wondered.

She didn’t know what to feel.  Jealousy?  A little.  They were young; she wasn’t.  They had powers; she didn’t.  What were the chances that she’d end up the odd one out?  She almost didn’t care right now, though, watching this wild and beautiful spectacle in its rough unfolding.  

Almost.  A part of her, something in her stomach, shifted with unease.  She should give them the privacy that Lena had given her and Kara, she thought.

“Kara,” Lena was panting, “I love you.”

“I know,” Kara sighed back, squeezing Lena’s shoulder and kissing her hard.  “I love you, too.”

“Kara, will you fuck me, please?”  Her voice broke a little at the end.

It made Cat shiver and filled her with raw lust.  She saw Kara’s eyes close and heard a little moan escape her lips.  “Oh, Lena… yes… tell me how.”

This was too much, Cat thought.  She didn't have a right to this.  She placed a hand on Lena’s bare shoulder.  “I… I should give you two some space to yourselves,” she began.  She was uncertain.  It was a foreign feeling and she didn’t care for it.

Lena opened her eyes and looked at Cat.  “Don’t,” she said, soft and sincere.  “Stay.”

“But you gave Kara and me the privacy of–”

“Cat,” Lena said, her voice gentle.  “You don’t have to do anything if you’re not comfortable.  But please, stay.”

Cat hesitated for a moment.  Damn Lena for reading her so clearly and giving her no quarter on her fears.  Then she rolled onto her back and closed her eyes.  Lena’s hand found Cat’s on the mattress and their fingers tangled together.  And so, she lay and listened, and felt.  

It was some kind of miracle, the way Lena’s voice somehow managed to be so gentle as she described to Kara what she wanted in very clear terms that made Cat wet again, just listening with closed eyes to Lena guide Kara in low, velvet tones:   _ “Put two fingers inside me ...here, like this, do you feel this?”  _

And then Kara’s voice, sweet and shy:  “ _ Yes, I think so... Like this? _ ” 

_ “...Oh, yes, that’s right..., Don’t be afraid, you won’t break me… Yes.... Push them in as far as they’ll go… Oh…”   _ And then a gasp, a pretty little gasp, and then another.

Cat began quietly touching herself with her free hand, trying to remain unobtrusive, but unable to refrain in the face of what was happening next to her, the tenderness of it, the heat.

_ “Lena, you’re so soft… So beautiful…” _

_ “I love the way you feel on top of me, I love the way you feel inside me, do you know that?  Do you feel how much I love it?” _

_ “Yes… I love being inside you… You’re so wet…” _

_ “That’s all for you, Kara.” _

_ “Tell me what to do.” _

_ “Bite me here …”   _ A gasp. _   “...Yes, that’s good…” _

_ “I’m afraid of hurting you…” _

_ “I want it to hurt a little.  I like it.  Do it again.”  _  A gasp.  _  “Yes, again.”   _ Another gasp.

“ _ You really like that, don’t you? _ ”

_ “I love it, can’t you feel it?  Do you feel how ready my pussy is, Kara?  Do you feel how much it needs to be fucked by you?” _

_ “Oh, Rao… is that what you want?” _

_ “Yes…. Don’t be afraid to fill me, that’s what I need…” _

_ “Like this?” _

_ “Yes…. In and out... long, slow strokes… Yes…. Oh, yes, exactly, Kara, you’re perfect, oh… Harder…. Harder… OH YES… You’re so strong… it feels so good...”   _

She heard Lena’s little gasps, Kara’s sighs of amazement.  Cat kept her eyes closed, feeling the bed shake with Kara’s efforts, and the thrusting of Lena’s hips in response, the clutching of Lena’s fingers as Kara gave her what she needed.  Hard, deep.  That was what Lena wanted when she and Cat had slept together, too.  Cat shook along with them, sighing quietly, rubbing herself faster as the intensity increased beside her.  Lena was a talker in bed, and god bless her for it, Cat thought.

_ “Lena, I feel so close to you.” _

_ “You are, you’re inside me… Oh, that’s so good….” _

_ “I wanted you for so long, Lena… I’m sorry I waited….” _

_ “Don’t be sorry… Just love me, okay?” _

_ “Tell me what to do…I want to make you feel good….” _

_ “You made me feel good before you ever touched me, Kara…” _

_ “Tell me what you want…” _

_ “Curl your fingers up… do you feel that?  Yes, there… Fuck me… Yes…. Hit me right there…. Oh, God, Kara…. That’s just right…. Don’t stop… I’m going to come for you if you keep doing it just like that...” _

_ “I want that… I want you to come for me… I want to see how beautiful you are when you come…” _

Something in Lena’s voice, the gorgeous ache of it, made Cat clasp Lena’s hand ever tighter on the mattress next to her.  Lena gripped back, and Cat could feel the currents of pleasure that twitched even in the small muscles of Lena's fingers.  Sharing just this much felt right to Cat, and Lena did not object.

And then, in symphony with the escalating tremors of the bed, she heard Lena finish with a loud, beautiful groan, and an,  _ “Oh, Jesus, FUCK YES KARA, YES I LOVE YOU YES LIKE THAT OH GOD”  _ and then wordless moans, and the quiet protests of the bedsprings as Kara drilled her deep against them.  She was surprised by the strength in Lena’s fingers as she clutched at Cat’s.

And Cat felt herself slip quietly over the edge of orgasm too, silencing herself by biting her lip, still gripping Lena’s hand.  She lay still for a moment, letting herself breathe and relax, listening to their breathing slow beside her.  She then released Lena’s hand and turned over and looked at them.

Kara turned and kissed her.  “Cat, I’m sorry … it just sort of…”

Cat kissed back, then shook her head.  “No, don’t be sorry.  It was... it was good.”  She was struggling to understand the feelings rattling around in her gut.  “But I… I need to…”  She frowned.  She felt very out of control somehow.  “I need rules.  I don’t know how to manage something like this.”

Lena and Kara both smiled.  “Well, it’s not like I’ve been in anything like this either,” Kara answered with a small giggle.

Cat nodded. “I know.  And you and your....”  She waggled her fingers the way she did when she was faintly irritated.  “...alien stuff… it’s probably not a big deal to you.”  She looked pointedly at Lena.  “And you… well, I don’t really know you that well, do I.  Is this sort of thing normal for you?”

“Me?” Lena laughed, a sound like a silver sleigh bell that bounced away into the dark.  “I’m painfully monogamous, when I’m not busy being pathetically celibate.  So no, I don’t really have a rule book for this either.”

Cat flopped back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.  “Alright.”  She thought about it for a minute.  “I have one request.  I don’t mind you two having sex with each other; in fact I enjoyed it… but I have to ask that it not happen without me present.  I don’t need to participate, necessarily, but I don’t want to be excluded, ever.  That’s non-negotiable.”

Lena nodded.  “You’re afraid we’re going to close you out.”

Cat nodded.  “That’s not hard to understand, is it?”

Lena sighed.  “No, it’s not.  But you have to understand that I have that fear about the two of you.  You’ve loved each other for longer than I’ve been in Kara’s life.  What if she decides I’m just second choice after all and she doesn’t need me?”

Kara cleared her throat.  “If you two are done comparing your dick sizes,” she interjected with no small measure of snark, “can I just point out that the two of you were dating each other without my even knowing it, and the only reason we’re all lying here right now is because by stupidest of stupid luck I happened to stumble on you two at Rubyfruit?”

Cat and Lena both shut their mouths.  

“Anyway,” Kara went on, seeming to enjoy having asserted herself and having the floor, “I think it’s perfectly fine to agree for the time being that none of us will have sex with anyone else without the third party also being present.  I don’t know if we can really keep that up forever, but I think it’s a good idea while we establish trust and figure out how we fit together.”

A long quiet settled over them.  Cat nodded in agreement.  So did Lena. 

“Besides,” Kara added, settling back into the pillows, “I need both of you for this to work, so there's that.”  She stretched her arms out in either direction, and gathered the two of them to her.  Lena rested her head on Kara’s chest, and Cat followed suit.  “We’re going to need a lot of time and room to figure this whole thing out.  So why don’t we all just shut up, stop trying to solve the whole math problem all at once, and go back to sleep?”

She closed her eyes with a pleased little smile that made Cat want to smack her right in her adorable face.  However, since the last time she tried hitting Kara, she’d hurt her hand, she just kissed the side of Kara’s neck, nestled her head against Kara’s shoulder, and reached across Kara’s body to take Lena’s hand and lace their fingers together again.  She settled their joined hands on Kara’s chest, and they fell asleep together, holding each other in a way that felt almost normal.

As she drifted off, she heard Kara murmur, “Lena?”

“Mm?”

“We’re going to do that for Cat, too, right?”  

“Mm.”


	15. Kara – Part V

Kara was not much of a sleeper, but she was so emotionally wrung out from the events of the last several hours that her mind allowed her the reprieve of a dark, dreamless quiet.  She had gone from having nothing and no-one, to finding herself in bed with the two people she most wanted to be with.  She had gone from being resigned to loneliness, to having an overabundance of hope.  And she had gone from being perpetually disappointed in and afraid of sex, to absolutely dying to do it again.  

She trusted Cat with her body, Lena with her mind, and both of them with her heart.  She knew that Cat and Lena’s budding romance was suddenly thrown into question with all of the new revelations that had come pouring out, and she felt some sadness at this.  Cat had been fairly reserved when talking about it, but Kara recalled Lena’s face upon announcing she was seeing someone that she liked, and it had been almost giddy.  She’d been excited.  There had to be a way to get them back to that place.  This wasn’t going to work if it everyone was busy being afraid that the other two were going to run off without them at any given moment.

She woke before they did and slipped out from between them.  She wanted to see them together now that she had a chance to understand it.  She’d been too stunned and confused at Rubyfruit to take in the meaning of what was happening, the way their fingers brushed each other’s hands, the loaded looks, the slow rhythms of a seduction taking place in front of her.  As she watched, both of them, felt her absence and, without waking, shifted toward each other’s warmth.  Cat’s arm draped loosely over Lena’s waist, their faces a few inches from each other.  Kara smiled to herself.  They were both so beautiful, so different.  And naked together, even sleeping, they were a sight to behold.

She woke Cat, and she and Lena made love to her, together, before allowing her out of bed.  Cat initially mounted a weak protest that she had already gotten her “cookie” and they didn’t need to do this, but neither Kara nor Lena wanted to hear it, so she surrendered to their gentle hands and soft mouths.  Lena was happy to share with Kara where and how Cat wanted to be kissed, occasionally murmuring a quiet suggestion as the two of them strung easy kisses along her small body.  Afterwards, Kara dismissed Cat and Lena to cuddle on the couch while she made omelets, which they did, if perhaps a little awkwardly.  It was going to take time to get used to this, for everyone.   
  
  


******

  
  


Kara pushed her glasses up her nose.  “Look what these three do!” she exclaimed with enthusiasm.  

Cat sighed.  “So we’re really not on board with the idea of scheduled time?”

Kara made a little gagging sound.  “No, that’s terrible.  Look, it says there that you’re not supposed to do that.”  She cleared her throat and read from the laptop.  “Base your allocation of time and emotional energy on the individual needs of each member of the relationship, rather than getting caught up in scorekeeping.  Focus on, ‘ _ I need Y _ ’, not ‘ _ she’s getting X _ ’.”

Lena came up behind Cat and peered over her shoulder at Kara on Cat’s laptop at the dining table.  She put her arms around Cat’s waist.  Kara glanced over her shoulder and smiled at them.  “Kara,” Lena prodded, “why are you even wearing your glasses? We all know you don’t need them.”

“Force of habit,” Kara laughed.  “I like having them on when I’m doing nerdy things, like looking up tips for managing relationships like ours.”

“So what else does Google say we should do?” Cat inquired dryly.

Kara got up and turned around in her chair.  “We should overcommunicate.  We should talk about everything and be radically honest.  I like that.  Radical honesty.”

Cat sighed.  “Sounds like work.”

Lena said nothing.

Kara nodded.  She was feeling inexplicably optimistic.  There was a name for what they were dealing with, and enough people who were doing it that there was advice about it on the Internet.  “But that’s ok.  If it was just you and me, or you and Lena, it would be work, too.  Just some of it would be different work.”

She looked back and forth between them. 

“So?” Cat asked.  “What then?”

“Don’t you think we should spend time together?” Kara pressed.  “The three of us?  This one woman on this poly website talks about how in her relationship, they have two-dates and three-dates, and I think that’s a good idea.”

Lena chuckled.  “So what, we all go to the movies together, sit in a little row and hold hands?”

“Sure.  I’ll be in the middle.  I’ll hold the popcorn.”

“The hell you will,” Cat scoffed.  “I've seen you eat.”

  
  


******

  
  


Some of the three-dates worked and some didn’t.  As it turned out, the movies were a pretty good three-date, though it was hard to find something they’d all want to see.  Kara liked rom-coms, Cat liked historical fiction and biopics, and Lena preferred the sort of slow, thinky sci-fi that bored Kara to literal tears.  They tried to Netlfix “Arrival” one night and Kara was just about tearing her hair out thirty minutes into it. But at least they could all agree on an occasional ironic screening of a seventies kung fu movie at the five-dollar theater in Chinatown, followed by potstickers at that weird dimsum restaurant in the basement of the dollar store down the block from the theater.  It was brightly lit and boisterous, and hardly what one would picture as an ideal romantic date, but Kara wasn’t sure it had to be romantic.  It just had to be fun.  They had to get to know what it was like to spend time as a trio. 

The first time they went there together, when Kara ordered her fourth plate of potstickers, the old Chinese waiter got angry and shook his finger at her.  “What??  You had three order already!” he cried.  She smiled a serene little smile and said, “I know.”

Lena touched him on the arm and said something very politely and gently in Mandarin.  

The waiter walked away grumbling but returned a few minutes later with the potstickers, and dropped the plate with an unceremonious bang in front of Kara, clearly not believing she was going to actually eat them.  However, when he went striding past the table a few minutes later, and saw that she’d already eaten half the plate and was heartily tucking into the remaining half, he chuckled and patted her on the back.

Cat and Lena laughed, and Kara ate.  They went there many more times, and the waiter always knew to put in extra orders of potstickers when he saw them come in.

A three-date at Rubyfruit was somewhat less successful.  Cat’s “extreme discretion” meant that she didn’t like holding hands with even one of them in public, much less two.  Kara was tired of going on three-dates where they couldn’t hold hands (the exception being in the dark at the movies).  So she gave in to Cat and Lena’s request to try going dancing again.  As long as they were sitting up at Cat’s private table upstairs, it was fine, but things got a bit complicated if they actually wanted to dance.  They couldn’t really close dance as a group of three without it looking and feeling a little strange, and if they swapped out, the one left hanging around by the bar or up at the table was inevitably fending off women until her partners came to rescue her.  Plus she was pretty sure they were receiving some epic lesbian shade from the other women in the club as it became clear what their situation was.  The only saving grace to the evening was running into Alicia again, who seemed downright amused at her situation.  “An embarrassment of riches, I see,” she teased Kara as they stood together by the bar and watched Cat and Lena dancing.  

Kara giggled a little and rubbed the back of her neck with a sheepish smile.

“So, don’t tell me that’s your friend and the woman you were in love with before that?”

Kara nodded again.

Alicia gave her an impressed little nod.  “Well played,” she congratulated her.  

And then she assured Kara that after she’d seen her run out of the club, that she’d taken it upon herself to go and give poor Vasquez a warning about Maryann.  Kara sighed with relief.  

Lena took them out on her sailboat, though, and that was almost magical.  Kara loved the salty air and the feel of sea spray on her face, and Cat and Lena both looked so beautiful when they were all windblown and kissed by the sun.  Lena taught them both how to hoist and trim the sails, and they could take turns at sailing while the other two rested on the deck, picnicking, fooling around, or playing a bit of magnetic travel scrabble.  This was an activity that managed to hit just the right note for all three, and it ended up being something they did a lot of.

Kara tried, during those sailing trips, to deliberately take a little longer with the actual mechanics of sailing the boat.  She wanted Cat and Lena to find each other, to see each other the way she saw them.  There was, of course, no guarantee that they would, but she would try.  

She encouraged them to take two-dates and go to the fancier places where she didn’t feel as comfortable anyhow.  “We don’t have to all like the same things,” she assured them.  And she had her own two-dates with each of them; she and Lena liked visiting art openings, which Cat only ever really attended to be seen, and going kite flying at the beach, and a lot of the other, simpler things they did together before they were lovers.  

She was surprised to discover that Cat’s favorite activity with her was cooking-in dates; they’d choose relatively daring recipes together and make them, sometimes with disastrous results, but more often than not, pretty good ones.   

“You like all kinds of fancy stuff,” Kara remarked one evening as she was dragging chicken cutlets through a flour and breadcrumb mixture for a francese.  “How come this is your favorite thing to do with me?”

Cat’s cheek rested against Kara’s shoulder as she watched.  “I enjoy watching Supergirl be domestic,” she decided after a few minutes.  “You’re at your most beautiful when you’re relaxed, and feeling at home.  The world… stresses you out, doesn’t it.”

And Kara nodded and smiled, and kissed her, because Cat understood her.

  
  


***********

 

It was different from most relationships that she'd seen, and not just because they were three instead of two.  In the beginning of most relationships was a blush, a honeymoon kind of falling in love where nobody could see each other's faults and everything was fine.  Few to no negotiations took place and things were generally smooth, and, at least for most people, there tended to be a lot of sex.

In general, the negotiation required as they tried to figure out their dynamic tended to temper the excitement a bit.  They still had many warm, wonderful “falling in love” moments, but they tended to be a little more clear-eyed about who they were dealing with.  It probably had a lot to do with the fact that two of the three legs of this triangle were based on solid, meaningful friendships.

They did, however, still have a lot of sex. They each in turn discovered the pleasures of watching the other two (Lena and Cat were like a house on fire, Kara thought – so hot, so bright).  They discovered the different ways they worked as three: how Kara needed Lena in her mind and Cat in her body, how Lena was able to read Cat’s needs and in her sultry voice, call plays for the two them to follow as if she were a quarterback, how Cat made Lena’s body a teaching ground to show Kara all the different ways there were to make a girl feel good.   Whatever bumps they may have encountered along the road to making this work, the sex was always good.  As time went by, too, she found it easier to open her mind up for Lena, to make herself more available and make it a little less exhausting for her.

Alex couldn’t believe what Kara was doing.

“You couldn’t even manage a relationship with one person and now you’re having a relationship with two people?” Alex exclaimed with incredulity.  

“Look,” Kara retorted, “you said yourself that maybe it wasn’t my fault, that I was just with the wrong people.”

“So you think you found two of the right ones at the same time?  What are the odds of that?”

“Slim,” Kara answered, “but it looks like I did.  And let me tell you, Alex?  I finally figured out why people yell about how great sex is all the time.”

Alex sighed.  “Come on.”

“No, I swear!  Lena does this thing… with her–”

“STOP.”

“Alex, she does this thing with her–”

“KARA.”

“–her mind, Alex.”

An awkward pause.  “That is not where I thought you were going with that.”

Kara laughed.

“So, what, like ESP brainsex?”

“Something like that.”

The truth was, Kara didn’t care whether Alex thought she was out of her mind.  She liked the whole thing.  She liked that she didn’t have to choose who she loved more between the two people she loved.  She liked knowing that if Supergirl had to run off and save the day, that she wasn’t abandoning them;  Lena and Cat could keep each other company and look after each other’s needs.

So she worked, and she saved the day, and she spent precious time with one or both of her supremely beautiful, fragile lovers, and maybe it was messy, but they were building something, a bit at a time.


	16. Lena – Part VI

A curious thing was happening.  Lena fell into an easy rhythm with Kara.  The love and caring of their friendship was not so far removed from what they shared now.  Their two-dates were everything she wanted them to be: the gentle romance of simple things, highly competitive games of skee ball, kisses at the top of the ferris wheel on the boardwalk. 

She was still finding her feet with Cat.  They found the overlap in their tastes that Kara didn’t share as much; expensive Italian restaurants, wine-tastings, jazz concerts (Kara couldn’t stand jazz).  

And eventually their three-dates became more and more fun, as they winnowed down, by process of elimination, what worked for them as a group and what didn’t (everyone liked sailing and Scrabble, and everyone was excited when Cat surprised them with Hamilton tickets).  

Two things were tripping Lena up:  one was the beautiful complexity of Kara and Cat’s dynamic, which was both tart and tender, both effortless and prickly.  Lena’s dynamic with Kara was different of course; Lena had never had to wait for Kara to grow into her. They had always been equals.  It wasn’t fraught with the occasional butting of heads because one of them was accustomed to calling shots and the other wasn’t really there for it anymore.  But there was a kind of deep intimacy to what Kara and Cat had, and Lena wasn’t sure that it was the same for her and Kara.  It wasn’t that she didn’t think Kara loved her.  She just wondered if what she and Kara shared was as satisfying as what she had with Cat.

The other thing tripping her up was that she saw for herself, in watching the two of them, what it was to be loved by Cat, and was slowly realizing that she wanted Cat’s love too.  She knew it was asking a lot, being that they were only a little over three months into this adventure and it had taken both her and Cat nearly a year to fall in love with Kara.  But she couldn’t help it.  She didn’t so much want the smoky looks that she got from Cat when they went out to an expensive restaurant and discreetly teased one another under the table.  She wanted the gentle, soft, infinitely tender Cat.

She wanted it because she as she saw more and more of who Cat was, she saw more and more someone she could fall as deeply in love with as she was with Kara.  She saw the sharpness of her wit, and the love she had for the world, which was every bit as strong as Kara’s, though she wore it less on her sleeve.  She saw her toughness and pragmatism.  These dates of theirs were wonderful, fun, hot… but she only wanted to skip ahead to the part where Cat had allowed herself to fall in love with her.

Lena knew she hadn’t.  She could tell.  She could feel Cat enjoying her, laughing with her, understanding her, being attracted to her, and yet not having surrendered her heart, still waiting for the bottom to drop out… Lena wished that Cat had the same gifts she did, and could read her the same way and know that Lena didn't want anything but to be closer to her.

_ But it takes time, _ she reminded herself.   _ With most people, much less someone like Cat. _  She had to get to know you.  

And almost more importantly, you had to win over her son.  

They hadn’t discussed the nature of their relationship with Carter; he was familiar with and very fond of Kara, so he never questioned her presence there.  He was less sure of Lena and her role in his mother’s life, and she could feel him wondering at various points whether she was Kara’s girlfriend or what.  She occasionally brought him Sandman comics and they talked fencing sometimes, because Lena had fenced a little in college; it was a good sport for nerds because they could pretend to be Jedi knights or shield maidens of Rohan or the like.  He was a bright kid, and she could tell he enjoyed talking to her, but she also continued to bump up against the question in the back of his mind of who she was to his mother, and frankly, it was one that she couldn’t really answer either.

As a trio, they stuck to the few rules they’d laid out; they didn’t have sex without all three of them present.  It mostly worked fine, although on one occasion, it proved to be a bit of a challenge.  Lena and Cat, tipsy and a bit worked up after an evening of rubbing up against each other and kissing a bit too hotly on the dance floor, found themselves very anxious to get naked, and did the only thing they could think to do in their inebriated state; they had Frederick bring them around to Kara’s loft, and pounded on her door at 1 am, pleading to be let in so that they could fuck in her bed.  Kara seemed faintly annoyed when she let them in, but she laughed about it the next day.  Lena and Cat were fools in the blush of something new, each trying to have that within the confines of loves that were older and more mature.  From time to time it was bound to be a little ungainly.

They went forward with the deal that had initially been the reason for them sitting down at that first fateful lunch.  Their gambit was successful, in that Lena’s purchase of a large stake in CatCo did indeed drive up investor confidence and give the share price a bump along with it.  Lena was good on her word when it came to her vote on the board; she always used it in Cat’s favor.  It was good that they were keeping their relationship quiet for now, though.  The board were a hungry bunch and she knew that half of them were actively  out for Cat’s blood, the other half would throw Cat under the bus if they really thought it was to their advantage, and not one of them trusted Lena or would communicate with her outside of the bi-monthly board meetings.  

That was fine.  She didn’t need them to.  She could read all of their intentions clearly enough anyway.  She and Cat ended up in freewheeling late-nights strategy sessions at CatCo, discussing the board and strategizing the path to approving Cat’s official reinstatement as CEO.

“Peterson wants to get rid of you.”

“I don’t need to be psychic to know that.”

“Rydell hates you personally but she still thinks nobody is going to do a better job than you.”

“Interesting.”

“Shea… well, Shea wants to fuck you.”

“Don’t they all?”

“No, I mean, she wants to get in your pants.”

“She does?  Hm.  Well, tough luck.”

“Maybe, but you can leverage that, I think.  She’s agnostic on your reappointment.”

“Hm.”

“Yates wants to frog-march you out of CatCo in handcuffs though I’m afraid I’m not really clear on why.”

“There are things I don’t need to know about the inside of his mind.”

“Let’s poison him.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Cat smirked at her, though, and her eyes flashed with pleasure at having another beautifully ruthless soul to share her travails with.  

Lena immensely enjoyed Cat’s mind.  It moved so fast, collected and retained things with a startling efficiency, able to summon them up later with ease.  It was equally comfortable discussing balance sheets as it was playing Settlers of Catan or 3D chess, another pastime they enjoyed that was just a few clicks too geeky for Kara.

Those strategy sessions were the beginnings of something new between them.  Lena understood how Kara could have fallen in love with her while working alongside her; Cat was at her sharpest, her most passionate best when she was working.  

During one such session, Cat’s phone rang.  It was nearly midnight.  Cat looked at it and sighed in disgust.  “Hello, Mother,” she answered, sounding distinctly unthrilled.

Lena listened quietly as Cat paced back and forth through her conversation.  “What?  No.  So what if I am? Well, honestly, it’s none of your business, Mother.”  She strode out to the balcony and pushed the glass door shut behind her.  Lena didn’t need to hear the words to feel Cat’s frustration and hurt at what she was enduring on the phone with her mother.  The coldness, the hectoring, the being made to feel insufficient no matter how much evidence she piled up to the contrary.  She watched Cat pace back and forth outside, knowing too well what her mother was laying on her shoulders even without knowing what language she was using to do it.

Cat eventually ended the call and came stomping back inside and marched over to the bar, preparing to pour herself a drink.  Lena went over and put a hand on her arm.  “You don’t need it,” she said softly.

“Maybe not, but it’ll feel good.”

Lena took her hands, and leaned in, and whispered in her ear, “Cat.  You are amazing, and brilliant, and beautiful.  You are as much a hero as Supergirl is. You don’t need your mother to confirm that for you. She never will.”

Cat stiffened.  “Lena…”

“Ssh, listen, listen.  Don’t drink.  Don’t take a Xanax to shake off what she just said to you.  Just… just put it down.  It’s not yours to carry.”

Cat pulled a hand free and wiped at her eyes, clearly annoyed with herself for getting upset.  “You don’t understand, that’s easier said than done.”

Lena gave a quiet laugh.  “Oh, I do understand.  My mother had me framed for a crime I didn’t commit so that she could break me out of jail and act like I owed her for it.  I understand feeling stuck with everyone’s burdens.”

Cat shrugged a concession.  “Well, my mother never did that, I suppose I should count myself lucky.”

“Cat… listen.  She’s not where your worth comes from.  Don’t look for love from someone who doesn’t know how to give it.  Look for it from people who do.  Like your son.  Like Kara.  Like…”  She squeezed Cat’s hands and then let go.  

Cat’s eyes narrowed, waiting for her to say it.  _  Like me.   _ Lena struggled to read what Cat was feeling about the idea of her saying that.

She didn’t.  Instead, she said, “I understand better than most what it is to have a mother who doesn’t know how to love you.”  She hugged Cat, then.  “I know we’re on premises now, so I can’t give you more than this hug right now, but… I’m here. And I get it.  That’s all.”

A few days later, at Kara’s place, Lena was curled up with her head on Kara’s shoulder and watching a movie, and she confessed quietly, “Kara.  I think… I may be falling in love with Cat.”

Kara smiled and kissed her forehead.  “Did you tell her?”

“No.  I don't think she’s there yet.”

“Radical honesty,” Kara reminded her.

“Right,” Lena sighed.  “Radical honesty.”

“I’ll help you, if you want.”

“OK, maybe.”

“I love you, Lena.”

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suspect a lot of y'all are snowed in like me with nothing to do and are online reading fic. :)
> 
> So, in the spirit of generosity and good citizenship, if this gets a bunch of comments by early afternoon from snowed-in folks, I will give you guys another chapter today to keep you entertained while you're holed up staring at the snow.


	17. Cat – Part VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK my lil snowed-in puppies (and everyone else), please enjoy today's bonus chapter :)

“Don’t you fucking laugh at me, Vera.”

“I’m not.”

But Rosensweig wasn’t doing a very good job of concealing her amusement.

“If you’re going to be this entertained by my sessions, maybe _you_ should be paying _me_ ,” Cat snorted.

“If I’m paying you, then you’re going to have to listen to me gripe about my mother.”

“ _You_ have a mother?”

“Yes, believe it or not.  She’s ninety-four.  She says it's the mahjong keeping her young, but frankly, I think it's the pot smoking.”  Rosensweig cleared her throat, pushed her glasses up on her nose and adjusted course.  “So,” she began, chuckling.  “I gave you option three, which I told you was probably too advanced for you, so you went instead for option three, sub-bullet b.  Go big or go home.”  She folded her arms.  “So, how are you making out with it?”

Cat sighed.  “Well, Kara and I… it’s… good.  It’s real intimacy.  It feels very natural.  We’ve just added a romantic dimension to something that’s spent a few years growing.”  She paused.  “I… I like Lena.  We enjoy each other.  I get something different from being with her than I do with Kara.”  

“But…?”

“...but I don’t know if I’d be trying to hang in there with it being romantic if she and Kara weren’t also…”  Cat trailed off.  

“In love with each other?”

Cat nodded.  

“That’s hard for you.”

“Of course.  What they have isn’t complicated the way it is with Kara and me.”

“And that’s threatening?”

“Obviously.”

“But are you getting what you need from Kara?”

“Oh, yes.”

“And what about Lena?”

“Yes.”

“So you're getting your needs met, then what's the problem?”

Cat fretted for a moment.  “I’m afraid of them deciding they don’t need me.  I’m afraid I’m too much work.  I’m too uptight.  I’m too … I’m not a peer.”

Rosensweig nodded.  “The age thing.  Do you think those fears are what’s keeping you from diving in deeper with Lena?”

“I don’t know, Vera,” she groaned.  “She’s beautiful, she’s smart, powerful, funny, incredible in bed… really, if I were building a woman for myself in lab, she’s probably what I’d build, apart from maybe not being quite so young.  I just… I’m afraid of… changing the equilibrium.  And I wonder if maybe she’s only trying so hard with me because she wants to please Kara.”

Rosensweig considered her for a moment.  “The situation sounds fragile.”

Cat sighed.  “I don’t know!  Is it?  Lena and I, when we spend time together, it’s… it’s good.  It’s different from what it is when I spend time with Kara.  She fills in those places where Kara and I don’t relate as well.  There’s no baggage of old history and a different power relationship that has to be renegotiated.  It’s just… different.”

“Of course it is, they’re different people.  You have different relationships with them.”

It seemed a little obvious, but it was good to hear it said.  Lena understood parts of her that Kara didn’t, fully.  Lena enjoyed things with her that Kara had no interest in.  Lena seemed to fit Kara, too, in ways that she didn’t. 

“Instead of enjoying the abundance you currently have been granted, you’re worrying about when it’s going to be taken away.”

Cat crossed her arms.  “I don’t need to tell you that’s a rational fear, having grown up with my mother.”

Rosensweig shook her head.  “Understandable, yes.  Rational?  No.”  She leaned forward.  “These women are not your mother.  They seem, as far as the evidence goes, to be pretty damned smitten with you.  Lena just gave you a whole speech about your specialness the other night, didn’t she?”

Cat rolled her eyes.  “She was just being nice.”

“She was being _loving_.”  Rosensweig pressed her palms to her temples.  “I swear, Catherine, you give me headaches.”

“That’s not funny.”

“It wasn’t a joke.”

  
  


********

  


Another late night strategy session found Cat and Lena on the balcony of Cat’s office, picking at high-end Mexican takeout and discussing whether to go in for the kill on pushing the vote on Cat’s reinstallation.  Cat was sure she had the votes but Lena was ticking down the list and trying to make sure.  Lena was always a little more cautious than Cat, and Cat appreciated that about her.  

“Switzer is the question mark,” Lena was saying as she polished off the end of a tamarind-flavored Jarrito.  “I can’t get a good read on him.  He seems too easily swayed, especially by Peterson and Rydell.”

Cat fiddled with a paper napkin while she thought.  “Well let’s assume he’s voting with Peterson.  Is your vote enough to make up for his?”

Lena ticked off the numbers on her fingers.  “Yes, I think so.  Now, the only other question is–”

Something thudded behind them, indoors.  Cat frowned.  Nobody ought to be here at this hour.  Lena froze, registering Cat’s alarmed expression.  Cat reached for her phone and sent a quick text to Kara, their simple code to call for her in potential, the letter S.

“Anyone out there?” Cat called.  It could be a janitor, except that the janitor had just been by maybe half an hour ago.

Lena was reaching into her purse, slowly.  Cat couldn’t see what she was doing but remained still.

A man stepped into the middle of Cat’s office.  Cat recognized him.  He was a little more rumpled than the last time she’d seen him.  She was pretty sure he was the incompetent from the web TV department that she’d sacked the other day.

“You shouldn’t be here at this hour,” she called out to him as he slowly crossed the space.  “Or at all.  How did you get access to the building?”

He didn’t answer.  His eyes were looking wild.  His hands were shaking, and he reached down and pulled a .38 special from the sagging waistband of his jeans.  “Sorry, Miss Grant… but I needed my job…”  He pointed it at her.

Cat rolled her eyes and sighed.  It wasn’t the first time she’d had a disgruntled employee point a gun at her and it probably wouldn’t be the last.  “Listen, Jerry–”

“And that’s another thing!  My name is Jaremy!  Why couldn’t you ever remember my name??”  he cried.  He almost looked ready to break down in tears.  

“Jaremy?  Not Jeremy?”

“No, NOT Jeremy!”

Cat tsked.  “Well honestly, how the hell am I supposed to remember that?  I have 5,000 employees.  Well, 4,999.”

Jaremy’s hand shook a little.  He honestly did look a bit unstable.  He moved closer to the balcony door.  “You don’t even try!”  he shouted.  “You do it on purpose!”

Cat saw Lena getting up, moving swiftly.  She saw Lena’s smart little purse drop to the floor of the balcony.  She saw Lena position herself between Jaremy and herself.  She had just enough time to wonder what the hell Lena was up to when she realized that there was a very small, exceedingly feminine looking .22 in Lena’s hand and that it was pointed directly at Jaremy.  “Lena!” she exclaimed.  “This isn’t your problem!”

“It’s not yours, either,” Lena answered calmly.  “Look, Jaremy.  Let’s pretend this didn’t happen.  You can just leave, and Cat won’t call the cops and ruin your life.”

“The hell I won’t!”

“She won’t,” Lena repeated.  “Jaremy doesn’t look like he’s ever held a gun till now.  I, on the other hand, have been forced to fire this .22 to defend myself on several occasions.”

Cat’s heart was racing.  She knew enough not to show real fear, but she was at four alarms on the inside.  She didn’t want to get shot tonight.  She didn’t particularly want to watch Lena shoot someone on her behalf, either.  She really hoped Kara would show up.  

Jaremy was looking at her, trembling like a frightened rabbit.  Lena looked way calmer with her weapon in hand than he did.  “Look… I don’t know who you are, but this problem is between me and Cat Grant, so you… you should just stay out of it.”

Lena nodded slowly.  “The problem is, Jaremy, that you picked a night to do this when I was here.  So, it’s now a problem between you and me.”  She looked at him sympathetically.  “I understand it sucks to lose your job.  I have a little company myself and I really don’t like to fire people if I don’t have to. You probably have, what… a family to support?”

“My mom is in a home.  She has dementia.  It’s really expensive to keep her there.”

“I see.  That’s very hard.  But… what are you trying to accomplish, here?  I know Cat Grant rather well, and she’s not going to give you your job back because you’ve pointed a gun at her.”  She stepped a little closer.  “I feel like you haven’t thought this through.”

“Don’t… don’t come any closer!”  he nearly dropped the gun, his hands were shaking so badly.

Cat was impressed with her cool.  She believed that Lena absolutely could and would shoot him if she felt the situation was beyond saving, but she was still trying to save it, and that took having some serious ice in your veins.  

“Jaremy,” she went on, “you know, my company and a few others actually have funds for the experimental treatment of dementia, did you know that?”

He kept staring wildly.  

“You’ll still need a job, of course, but it’s possible that she can be helped.  But nobody’s going to get any help with anything if anyone gets shot tonight.  Particularly if it’s Cat or myself.  Because, Jaremy, we’re rich and powerful, and you aren’t.  And if you shoot us, we have really expensive lawyers that are going to destroy your life.”  She gave a long pause, in which Jaremy stood squirming.  “So, you can put the gun down, and leave, and we can pretend this never happened.  You can contact my secretary tomorrow for a list of organizations that offer the types of treatments that I mentioned.  Or you can do something really, really stupid, and I either shoot you, or you end up in jail, or if you’re really unlucky, both.”

At this moment, Cat felt the familiar rush of air that meant Supergirl was landing on her balcony, accompanied by the firm “thump” of her feet striking the tile.  She didn’t even need to turn around.  “Hello, Supergirl, glad you could join us.”

Jaremy, at this point, dropped his weapon and put his hands up.

“Well,” Lena said, glancing over her shoulder, “for some reason, Supergirl, you’re more intimidating than I am.”

“What’s the problem?” Kara asked, concern registering on her face as she took in Jaremy’s gun, and then Lena’s.

“Disgruntled ex-employee,” Cat answered.  “Lena was doing a pretty good job handling him, but I’m glad you’re here.”

Kara nodded.  She briefly placed a hand on Cat’s shoulder, and then as she walked past Lena, brushed hers as well.  Her eyes were focused only on Jaremy, though.  “Let me show you out,” she said pleasantly.  And then she picked him up by his shirt and carried him out of Cat’s office via the balcony.

Lena squinted as she watched Kara fly away with him in her grasp, dangling from her hand like a bag of not particularly heavy groceries.  “Well, if that doesn’t put the fear of God into him…”

Cat looked hard at Lena.  “You weren’t lying about having to fire that thing in your own defense,” she observed.  It wasn’t a question.  It was an obvious conclusion.

Lena shook her head.  “No.  And I wasn’t even going to hesitate to fire in yours.”  

Cat looked at the hard stars studding Lena’s blue-green eyes.  She watched her bend down and slip the gun back into her purse.  “How many times have you been threatened?” she asked softly.

“More than I can count.”  

Cat closed the distance between them.  Lena had stepped between her and a crazy person with a gun.  And Lena wasn’t bulletproof.  Cat was struck all at once at how much Lena must care for her.  Cat realized that she was resisting the full measure of her feelings for Lena because she wasn’t entirely convinced that Lena was there because she wanted her, too, and not because she just wanted to keep Kara happy.  But this had changed the playing field, in an instant.  She put her arms around Lena’s waist, and with their fragile mortality squarely in mind, she kissed her hard on the mouth, the way Lena liked.  

Life is frail, she thought, and fleeting, too much so to let herself keep holding back.  She loved Kara, her guardian angel, her Supergirl, but it was getting on time to let herself trust Lena, too.  It was getting on time to stop playing around with this beautiful, brave woman who had been nothing but an ally from day one.  Lena’s arms folded around her and they kissed, deep and full of urgency, and she felt herself opening up; she knew Lena could feel her letting go, could feel her unclenching her hands from the emotional prudence that she so valued.  

“It’s not prudence,” Lena whispered, hearing that thought.  “It’s just fear.”

“I know,” Cat whispered back, and she dug her hands into Lena’s dark hair and kissed her again.  “I didn’t really know how you felt.”

“Do you know now?”  

Their kisses grew deeper and more intense, as if they were suddenly afraid that they were running out of time.  “You know the answer to that,” Cat replied with a self-satisfied smirk.

And Lena’s response was to press her back against the enclosed wall of the balcony and kiss her even harder, and right then, Cat wanted her like she never had.  It was so obvious, suddenly.  Lena was offering her love, and nothing but that, and she had been all along.

She didn’t need to ask Lena to make love to her right there, on one of the couches on her balcony, overlooking the city, because Lena already knew that she wanted that, and was reclining on the white leather, pulling Cat down on top of her, fumbling at the hem of her skirt with eager hands.  

She didn’t need to tell Lena that Kara would be coming back soon, because Lena already knew that too and whispered, “It’s alright, she won’t mind this.”

She didn’t tell Lena that she thought she was falling in love, because Lena already knew.  

She was already there.


	18. Kara – Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the story ends, for now. :)

Kara deposited Cat’s unwanted visitor in front of a police precinct.  His knees collapsed under him and he spent a few moments vomiting.  “I don’t like heights,” he groaned when he was done.

“I see that,” she said coolly.

“The other one… said they weren’t gonna turn me in…” he began to protest.

Kara frowned at him.  “Well, I don’t need to tell you that if I see you at CatCo again, or anywhere even near it, I’m marching you inside next time.”

He nodded and stumbled away.

She launched back into the sky to fly back to CatCo and see how the two of them were doing.  Before she saw them, she heard them: their pounding heartbeats, the sweet sounds of their pleasure that she’d gotten to know so well.  She smiled to herself.  It meant they were safe.  It meant that they were turning to each other to feel alive after a moment of facing mortality.  She considered flying away, and giving them their moment alone, but she didn’t want to not share it.  And she wanted to lay eyes on them, and touch them, and be sure that they had emerged whole from their moment of danger.

She saw them from up high, tangled in each other, skirts pushed up, half falling off of one of those squarish white couches that were absolutely not made for having sex.  She hung in the sky far above and listened.  She heard Cat’s moaning, and Lena’s voice, thick with emotion, telling her, “Yes, Cat… I want you… not just for what you are to Kara, but for everything you are… Yes… Yes… Telling you I loved you would have just been words, you had to see it…”

Each murmur from Lena’s lips was answered with soft cry from Cat.  And Kara knew what was happening between them.  Cat had opened up, had finally let her guard down, and Lena was experiencing the strength of her love first-hand, clear and unmuddied by hesitation.  She was responding, by word and by touch, to everything that Cat was feeling, and they were finally letting themselves love each other the way they'd been wanting to.

She hovered in the air, waiting until they finished and Cat collapsed on top of Lena.  They shifted around to find a more comfortable position on the couch; Lena sitting up, Cat straddling her lap, their hands stroking each other’s faces. Kara did a gentle descent beside them and smiled.  “Hey, you two.  Couldn’t wait, huh?”

Cat turned to her with a guilty look.  She’d broken her own rule.  “I’m sorry, Kara…” she began.

But Kara sat down beside them and wrapped her cape around both of them.  “Don’t be,” she interrupted her.  “All I wanted since this whole thing started was for the two of you to close the circle, to love each other as much as I loved both of you.  This is a good thing.”

Cat seemed dubious and yet relieved.  

After a few beats of quiet, Kara looked at both of them and said, “I don’t think we need the rule anymore.”

Cat raised an eyebrow.  “Are you sure?  I don’t want you to feel threatened by –”

Kara shook her head.  “I told you.  This is what I hoped for.  That you would make room in your hearts for each other.  I don’t want there to be any fear in this relationship.  There should never be a time when one of us is worried that the other two don’t need them.  Radical honesty.  Radical trust.  If two of us are on a date and they want to be together at the end of the night, we shouldn’t need to call the third for permission…. Or show up banging on their door at 1 a.m.”  

She cleared her throat at this, and Cat and Lena both looked a little sheepish.  “We were a little drunk, in our defense,” Lena pointed out weakly.

Kara smiled.  “It’s fine.  I was a little sleepy, but still.  The point is, that was silly.  We shouldn’t have to do that.  We should feel confident that we all love each other enough to look out for each other’s feelings and comfortable enough to express it if our needs aren’t being met.”  She placed a hand on each of their shoulders.  “We’re in this together.”

  
  


****

 

Things changed after that.  It was more fluid.  Their time together, their lovemaking, their emotional needs, became easier to manage as they became more fully invested in loving one another as completely as they were capable of doing.

They each bore such heavy weights on their shoulders that it worked best to be supported by two others instead of one; Kara, the weight of being Supergirl, Cat, the weight of her company and her responsibility as the voice of mainstream media (her reinstatement was confirmed decisively), and Lena, the weight of L Corp and the inherent dangers of being a Luthor.  Kara was there to save her life on many occasions but it meant everything to have Cat’s steady hands in the aftermath, to comfort Lena (and plan revenge, although Kara couldn’t officially get behind that).  When Cat became too wound up under the burdens of running CatCo and setting the agenda for the national conversation while trying to still be a mother to her rapidly growing son, Lena would talk her through whatever the problem was, while Kara spent time with Carter.  When Kara was exhausted and broken after a rescue gone bad, Cat and Lena would gently peel her out of her suit and put her in a warm bath, and then hold her through the night.

Kara was there the night that Cat’s mother went to the hospital with a minor heart attack, and Cat surprised all three of them with a spasm of grief over it.  Lena understood too well the pang of regret that came from knowing that she would never have a loving relationship with her mother.  When Cat needed to sleep, but couldn’t, she let Lena into her mind to help stem the torrent of guilt and anxiety enough to settle into a brief but restful sleep.  Kara had an arm around Cat’s waist and one hand on Lena’s shoulder, giving her strength, and she heard Lena whisper, “Your mind is beautiful, Cat… It’s like a Pollock painting… It’s like jazz… Like physics… The chaotic grace of mathematical perfection… You’re beautiful, Cat…”  And she murmured her off to sleep, whispering love to her, ordering the chaos just a little, nudging the equations just a little toward balance.

They became a web, as friends, as lovers, as confidantes.  They loved their times pairing off, but as time went by, they found more things that they loved to do as a trio.  They slowly formed a unit, and instead of a difficult dance, their shared love became a bedrock for their lives.  

Kara was the one Carter ended up coming to when he was about fifteen and tired of just wondering about their relationship.  

“So, like,” he began a little awkwardly, “I don’t think my mom is gonna be straight with me about this if I ask her, so I’m asking you.”

“Because you trust me to be honest with you?”

“Because you suck at lying.  You’re literally the worst liar.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Anyway,” he went on, “I just … I can’t figure out what the deal is.  Like, is Lena your girlfriend?  Because sometimes it seems like she is, but then sometimes, it seems like you’re my mom’s girlfriend, and then sometimes it seems like Lena and my mom are dating.  So like, what’s the deal?  And don’t tell me you’re all just friends or something like that.  I’m not a little kid.”

Kara sighed.  “Listen, you should really be asking your mom.”

He folded his hands and stared at his knuckles for a minute.  “Why?”

Kara sighed.  “Look, Carter, it’s hard to explain.”

“Well, is Lena your girlfriend?”  

“Yes.”

“Ok.  So then you’re not my mom’s girlfriend.”

Kara hesitated.  “Well, no.  I am.”

Carter frowned.  “I don’t understand.”

Kara sighed.  “Your mom is going to kill me for explaining this to you, probably, so you can’t tell her I told you, alright?”

“OK, fine.  I just want to know.”

“Buddy, your mom, and I, and Lena, are all sort of… with each other.”

“Huh?”

“We all love each other.  It was too hard to choose.  So we’re all together.”

Carter ran a hand through his unruly curls.  “So the three of you...are a couple?”   


Kara laughed.  “Yeah, basically.”

“That’s weird.”

Kara smiled.  “Not as weird as you think.  You wouldn’t mind if your mom was only dating me, would you?”

He shook his head.  “Nah, I like you.”

“And you wouldn’t mind if she was only dating Lena, right?”

He shrugged.  “Probably not.  I like her.  I don’t know her like I know you, but I like her.”

“Well, so your mom is just... with both of us.  And Lena and I, we’re also with each other.”

He tilted his head and thought about this for a moment.  “And that’s cool with everyone?”

Kara nodded.  “It was a little difficult in the beginning, but we figured it out.  And now it’s great.  Because we’re all there for each other.”

He thought for a moment more.  “But you can’t all get married.”

“Well, not legally, no.”

“Would you want to if you could?”

Kara smiled.  “I don’t know.  We haven’t talked about it.  I might.”

He considered her, drinking his large glass of chocolate milk (a habit he had not yet outgrown) while his blue eyes peered at her over the rim.  “OK.  Well, I’m glad you told me.  I mean, I get why you didn’t, ‘cause it is a little weird.  But, I’d rather know, you know?”

And that day, Carter began his gradual embrace of his unusual family arrangement.  He got discipline and inspiration mostly from Cat, support from Kara, and real talk from Lena.  He came to appreciate that last one in particular.  And he got love from all three.  After a time, Lena and Kara’s maintaining of their own residences became more formality than anything else, and Carter found that he rather liked knowing that one of his mothers would almost always be home to greet him, fix him dinner, ask him about his day.  He came to appreciate their very different approaches when it came to advice about girls, or going to visit colleges, or dealing with social situations at school whose complexities sometimes escaped him.

And they drew day by day, ever closer, ever stronger.

One night, Kara, Cat and Lena lay in bed together, having enjoyed a long evening of indulging one another’s hungers.  Kara was gently kissing Lena’s face, removing the blindfold from her eyes, while Cat unlocked the steel handcuffs and took them off of Lena’s wrists, and set them aside along with the black riding crop.  Lena was marked up in a dozen different places and she looked exhausted but she was smiling that thousand watt smile, the one that said that her two lovers had found and sated the deepest of her needs.  She melted onto the mattress and let Kara gently apply the bruise gel that they kept in the nightstand, while Cat shrugged on a silk dressing gown and went out to the kitchen for some ice to put on a few of the nastier welts.  

Cat shook her head as she sat down next to her on the bed, applying small baggies full of ice chips, wrapped in washcloths, to different parts of Lena’s body.  “I can’t believe you really love that like you do,” she wondered aloud.

Lena shrugged.

“I wish you hadn’t waited so long to tell us you wanted that,” Kara sighed, kissing Lena’s sweaty forehead.

Lena smiled at her.  “Cat’s not the only one with walls.”

Kara snuggled down carefully next to her, and held one of the washcloth baggies against Lena’s ribcage, where it refused to stay.  “But… stony limits cannot hold love out...  Cat, what’s the whole line?”

Cat snorted as she snuggled down on the other side of Lena.  “Are you really asking me that?  Do I even know you?”

“I’m distracted,” Kara complained.  “There’s a beautiful naked woman in our bed who needs medical attention.”

Cat rolled her eyes, and placed her hand over another overly-mobile washcloth baggie, this one on the slope of Lena’s shoulder.  Then she gazed at Kara with those blazing eyes she loved, and answered,  “With love’s light wings, I did o’erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out.”

“Agh, right!”  Kara exclaimed.  “I can’t believe I forgot that.”

Lena closed her eyes and grinned some more.  “Are you dorks quoting me Romeo and Juliet again?”

“Naturally,” Cat replied, nipping Lena’s ear.  “I hate my mother but she’s right about one thing, which is that sometimes, The Bard said it best.”

Kara placed her lips next to Lena’s ear and breathed softly in it, “Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs, Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes, Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears.”  

Lena laughed.  “You would love that sappy stuff. I prefer Antony and Cleopatra:  The stroke of death is as a lover's pinch, which hurts and is desired.”

Cat snorted.  “For you, maybe.  Pervert.”

“Mm,” Lena agreed.

They lay in quiet for a few minutes.  Finally, Cat asked, “So?  Is this it?”

“Is what it?” Kara asked through a little yawn.

“Is this it?  This.  We get to just… have this?  And be more or less happy inasmuch as anyone in this world is allowed to do?”

Kara laughed.  “Yes, I think so.”

Cat shook her head.  “I would never have thought to look for something like this.”

“You didn’t have to.  It found you,” Lena observed.

Kara thought of it all.  She couldn’t have enjoyed sex with Cat without Lena.  She couldn’t have held out for someone as amazing as Lena without having loved Cat.  Cat and Lena with their intimacy struggles might well have found excuses to run away from each other were it not for Kara holding them together.  Maybe Alex was right after all.  Maybe everything did happen for a reason.  Maybe it all happened just as it needed to, to lead to this, the three of them falling asleep in their shared bed, hearts borne aloft together on love’s light wings.


	19. A Last Word

To all my lovelies who have followed this fic and expressed a desire for in-universe shorts and ficlets, I've created a series for filling prompts and exploring some of the little things I didn't get to in this story for pacing reasons and what have you. 

The series title is "Stony Limits Cannot Hold Love Out", and if you want to keep up with all the whims and whatnot that I intend to post there, please do subscribe. It will literally be everything from smut to domestic fluff to maybe Lena becoming a superhero (IronWoman) and whatever else tickles ye olde fancy. There are two works in there now but I expect that'll increase a bit.

 

Here it is:  
http://archiveofourown.org/series/686643

 

xoxoxo,  
Stealthy ;)


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